By Adam Pockross
When I first saw the following video of this obviously deranged man power-washing the interior of his CLS350 CDI, I knew I had to write about it, so that others might feel my pain and we could commiserate as a community. I thought just asking why over and over and over again might be enough to get my point across: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
No. It’s not enough. It still pains me to watch.
And while I may never really be able to truly answer the question of why
someone would treat their beautiful car with such soggy disrespect, I
do find myself in desperate need of an explanation. I need to make sense of this mixed up mumbled up
shook up world.
So, after much detective work and psychoanalyzing, I offer my best guesses:
1. The owner of this beautiful car is not present, and the abusive
power-washer was tired of said owner sleeping with his wife.
2. The owner of this beautiful car has a dog with irritable bowel syndrome.
3. The owner of this beautiful car is a merman and needs to stay wet at all times.
4. The owner of this beautiful car is off his meds and on Timothy Leary’s.
Yet somehow, none of these reasons really seem to satisfy me. I remain baffled. So help me out, why else could this guy be the performing such an act of lunacy? Shout off in the forums!