Wonder if anyone can help me please?

I got round to fitting my winter tyre set yesterday but I've come across a few problems.

Got a set of 18" wheels 8.5J and 9.5J (both ET35);
the 8.5J pair actually measure close to 9.5 inches from outer edge to outer edge, whereas the 9.5J pair measure close to 10 inches from outer edge to outer edge.
Is this normal?

Anyway, got the recommended 235/40/18 and 265/35/18 (Conti WinterContact TS830P) fitted but the front 235s are rubbing on the shock absorber sleeve.
As far as I knew and double checking the sticky, most on here have been using 235/40/18 on ET35s with no problem at all.

The rubbing sounded reeeeaaaalllly bad and occured driving in a straight line. Since it was closing time, tyre fitters decided to take them off and put on my OEM 16"s.

So guys, what can I do to solve this?

Edit: Wheels are on CLK320 with stock suspension and brakes.

 

Since the tire are already mounted, use spacer or goes with 225-40 but then tire would look too stretch for the look.

 

Is the 3mm spacer good? I've read the 3mm spacer leaves 2mm of the hub, whereas the 5mm doesn't, leaving me prone to vibration with the 5mm.

More importantly is it safe @ 100+mph on the autobahn?