Freaking hilarious
01-30-2009, 03:42 PM
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Freaking hilarious
I hijacked this from another forum but thought it was good for a laugh on a Friday afternoon.
The CLK55 motor has been outlawed from NASCAR, Formula 1, and CART, due to the unfair advantage any team using the motor would have.
The weakest part of the CLK55 drivetrain is the driver’s neck, which is typically the first thing to break during hard launches.
The 16 cylinder, quad turbocharged engine in the bugatti veyron is bugatti's strongest attempt at replicating the power generated by the CLK55.
If you see the driver of an CLK55 walking with a limp, it is not because he hurt his back - it's from getting laid several times a day.
The movie "Terminator" is actually a simulation of what could happen if the CLK55 motor was to become sentient.
Top Fuel drag cars are powered by CLK55 motors with a pulley, long tubes and a tune.
There is no material/element in existence that would be strong enough to be used for the engine block of an CLK55 with bolt-ons and nitrous.
When filming Fast and the Furious, to get the cars to do wheelies they just swapped in stock CLK55 motors.
The amount of power generated by an CLK55 motor with only 6 spark plugs and mixed wires with 3 gallons of gas could power the entire Vegas strip for a week.
NASA recently announced that all future rocket launches will be powered by CLK55 motors
If the CLK55 motor had a ***** it would be the biggest in the world.
It is possible to roast coffee beans with just the exhaust coming from an CLK55 a block away.
To make a time machine you do not need a flux capacitor, just the CLK55 motor. "Back to the Future" was actually based on a true story involving an CLK55, but was disgsuised as a delorean so as not to give away any big secrets.
The land speed record is held by an CLK55 with a pulley on highway 9.
It is physically impossible to be late to anything anywhere EVER if you are driving an CLK55.
Scientists around the world are petitioning to include the CLK55 motor in the periodic table of elements.
Other than diamond itself, the only other known element which can cut diamond is an CLK55 motor.
If you ever run out of gas in a CLK55, chances are your moving fast enough to coast to your destination.
The CLK55 has been determined to be the most significant cause of global warming, simply due to the heat radiating from the exhaust because of the sheer amount of hp the engine generates.
Scientists hypothesize that by coupling an CLK55 motor's flywheel to power plants around the world, we can permanently put an end to the power crisis.
If you have ever driven past a CLK55, it was either on the brakes hard or parked.
If a gay man drives an CLK55, he comes out of the experience a homophobic straight man with a wife and 3 kids.
It has been determined that it would be impossible to stop an CLK55 with a head and cam swap, because there would be no way for commercially available brakes to stop the car.
99% of chevy and dodge guys have never driven an CLK55. This is a good thing, because if they did, GM and Chrystler would instantly go out of business due to a huge slump in car sales.
The nobel prize was awarded to the CLK55 assembly manual.
The earth is being thrown off it's rotational axis by a man that mounted slicks on his CLK55 and punched it from a stoplight.
There are no commercially available tires which can harness the sheer torque produced by an CLK55.
The CHP ordered thousands of CLK55 but later backed out of the contract as they had a difficult time keeping the car straight and not wheelstanding
An CLK55 could supplement the energy provided by the sun and bring an end to the next ice age.
The only WMD that needs to be sent to Iraq is an CLK55.
On the 7th day, when God was pretending to rest, he designed the CLK55.
Lumberjacks use CLK55 to uproot 300 year old redwood trees.
Freight trains are powered by CLK55 motors - however they need to be detuned to prevent the train from welding its wheels to the track.
A stock CLK55 with drag radials exerted so much force on the earth’s surface that it created the volcanic chain known as the “ring of fire.”
The power generated by an CLK55 motor can supplement the sun and bring an end to the next ice age.
An CLK55 motor is so powerful even superman is unable to handle the forces exerted under acceleration.
The Lockheed martin Joint Strike fighter disguises a CLK55 motor as a rocket engine to preserve the secret as to why it is superior to every other military plane ever made. Ever.
If a CLK55 motor was retuned to utilize its maximum capability, the engine would suck in so much oxygen that earth’s atmosphere would collapse and all humans would cease to exist.
Hurricane Katrina was caused by the turbulent exhaust flow of an CLK55 driving down the highway at 7000 RPM.
If we were to build a freeway into outer space, it would be possible to prove the theory of time travel using an CLK55
The CLK55 motor has been outlawed from NASCAR, Formula 1, and CART, due to the unfair advantage any team using the motor would have.
The weakest part of the CLK55 drivetrain is the driver’s neck, which is typically the first thing to break during hard launches.
The 16 cylinder, quad turbocharged engine in the bugatti veyron is bugatti's strongest attempt at replicating the power generated by the CLK55.
If you see the driver of an CLK55 walking with a limp, it is not because he hurt his back - it's from getting laid several times a day.
The movie "Terminator" is actually a simulation of what could happen if the CLK55 motor was to become sentient.
Top Fuel drag cars are powered by CLK55 motors with a pulley, long tubes and a tune.
There is no material/element in existence that would be strong enough to be used for the engine block of an CLK55 with bolt-ons and nitrous.
When filming Fast and the Furious, to get the cars to do wheelies they just swapped in stock CLK55 motors.
The amount of power generated by an CLK55 motor with only 6 spark plugs and mixed wires with 3 gallons of gas could power the entire Vegas strip for a week.
NASA recently announced that all future rocket launches will be powered by CLK55 motors
If the CLK55 motor had a ***** it would be the biggest in the world.
It is possible to roast coffee beans with just the exhaust coming from an CLK55 a block away.
To make a time machine you do not need a flux capacitor, just the CLK55 motor. "Back to the Future" was actually based on a true story involving an CLK55, but was disgsuised as a delorean so as not to give away any big secrets.
The land speed record is held by an CLK55 with a pulley on highway 9.
It is physically impossible to be late to anything anywhere EVER if you are driving an CLK55.
Scientists around the world are petitioning to include the CLK55 motor in the periodic table of elements.
Other than diamond itself, the only other known element which can cut diamond is an CLK55 motor.
If you ever run out of gas in a CLK55, chances are your moving fast enough to coast to your destination.
The CLK55 has been determined to be the most significant cause of global warming, simply due to the heat radiating from the exhaust because of the sheer amount of hp the engine generates.
Scientists hypothesize that by coupling an CLK55 motor's flywheel to power plants around the world, we can permanently put an end to the power crisis.
If you have ever driven past a CLK55, it was either on the brakes hard or parked.
If a gay man drives an CLK55, he comes out of the experience a homophobic straight man with a wife and 3 kids.
It has been determined that it would be impossible to stop an CLK55 with a head and cam swap, because there would be no way for commercially available brakes to stop the car.
99% of chevy and dodge guys have never driven an CLK55. This is a good thing, because if they did, GM and Chrystler would instantly go out of business due to a huge slump in car sales.
The nobel prize was awarded to the CLK55 assembly manual.
The earth is being thrown off it's rotational axis by a man that mounted slicks on his CLK55 and punched it from a stoplight.
There are no commercially available tires which can harness the sheer torque produced by an CLK55.
The CHP ordered thousands of CLK55 but later backed out of the contract as they had a difficult time keeping the car straight and not wheelstanding
An CLK55 could supplement the energy provided by the sun and bring an end to the next ice age.
The only WMD that needs to be sent to Iraq is an CLK55.
On the 7th day, when God was pretending to rest, he designed the CLK55.
Lumberjacks use CLK55 to uproot 300 year old redwood trees.
Freight trains are powered by CLK55 motors - however they need to be detuned to prevent the train from welding its wheels to the track.
A stock CLK55 with drag radials exerted so much force on the earth’s surface that it created the volcanic chain known as the “ring of fire.”
The power generated by an CLK55 motor can supplement the sun and bring an end to the next ice age.
An CLK55 motor is so powerful even superman is unable to handle the forces exerted under acceleration.
The Lockheed martin Joint Strike fighter disguises a CLK55 motor as a rocket engine to preserve the secret as to why it is superior to every other military plane ever made. Ever.
If a CLK55 motor was retuned to utilize its maximum capability, the engine would suck in so much oxygen that earth’s atmosphere would collapse and all humans would cease to exist.
Hurricane Katrina was caused by the turbulent exhaust flow of an CLK55 driving down the highway at 7000 RPM.
If we were to build a freeway into outer space, it would be possible to prove the theory of time travel using an CLK55
Last edited by hrothgar02; 01-30-2009 at 03:49 PM.
01-31-2009, 12:57 AM
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CLK55 AMG
