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FSJ vs. LTD

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Old Dec 11, 2003 | 06:10 AM
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Gilgamesh's Avatar
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From: Mannheim, Germany
1981 Fullsize Jeep Cherokee Laredo Widetrack
FSJ vs. LTD

Mine: A '77 Cherokee Chief (s), w/ tired, leaking, knocking, smoking 360 v-8, asthmatic 2 barrel carbeurator, and the aerodynamics of a brick.

My opponent: An early '80s Ford LTD stationwagon, w/ tired, leaking, smokescreen-producing Ford 302 v-8, with the aerodynamics of a doorstop.

Situation- I pull up to a stoplight, and am sitting there, watching my temp. guage slowly climb into the red in the Florida heat. Suddenly, I notice an increasing amount of smoke flowing past my window. Thinking that I may have just blown a headgasket or some such, I think nothing of it. At that point, I hear a loud chugging, banging noise, and that was when I started to become worried.....
So I look into my side mirror, and approaching on my left is a beat up Ford LTD stationwagon, and at the same time, probably violating many, many EPA laws with it's built in cloaking device. Piloting this landsled are four young men, who appear as though they have been in a perpetual Megadeth concert.
They pull up, and I notice that the driver is motioning to me....

He wants to race!!!

So the light turns green, I put my foot in it, and with my transfercase chain jumping teeth, rods knocking, and vacuum leaks hissing, my Jeep lurches off the line.
5.....8......15.......30mph!!!!
Feeling confident that I have beat the tree, I look into my rearview, and here comes the Ford, slowly, but gaining......

Holy #%@!

It slowly passes me as I hit 45mph, and I notice all four occupants inside rocking back and forth in unison, mouthing "GO-GO-GO!!!"
Finally my Jeep hits its stride, and we pull up to the next light, a draw.....
I look over, give them my best heavy-metal devil-horn hand salute, and they make a left turn, all four of them toasting our race with Pabst Blue Ribbons upraised.....
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Old Dec 11, 2003 | 06:13 AM
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Looks kinda fun.
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