I've been unfaithful to my E500. I used to think she was the most beautiful thing on Earth and deserving of my undying affection. But now, I don't even give her a second look as I brush by her, sometimes taunting her, running my finger along her hood as I make my way to the other side of the garage. There sits my new infatuation, my SL600. She sees me enter the garage and hypnotizes me with her quad eye gaze. There she sits, wrapped in black, curves in all the right places. I don't even notice the gleaming E500, untouched in 3 weeks. I promised myself that I wouldn't let it come to this. The E500 still has my heart while my new toy, well, she has my soul. The E500 was supposed to be my life long marriage while my SL600 remained a weekend love affair. Things have changed.

I sit in her warm lap, and gently massage her middle button to wake her up. She's angry, her hoarse V12 throat growls at me, begging me to remove her top. I oblige. I slowly back her out of her cave, keeping all of her horsepower in check. She's a stallion and wants to be unleashed. Just one flick of my right calf and we're breaking too many laws to count. As I pull away, I look back at my rock, my E500 that has given me so much joy over the past years but all I see is parked metal.

How did we come to this? I am ashamed to say it, but my E500 just looks average to me now. An aging beauty that's past her prime. My SL600 has completely changed me. I'm alive again. No longer angry that I'm stuck I'm traffic, but pleased that this delay gives me more time to spend in her. As the Prius owners scowl at my V12 Biturbo, I just chuckle and think to myself that they're probably the same people, that in high school, opted for band camp rather than the football team and cheerleading squad. Jealous of her perfect curves, they quickly change the direction of their glare when I notice them.

Sometimes being unfaithful is just what the doctor ordered.

 

Awesome.













Cheating, and openly flaunting in front of the E500. You should be ashamed.

 

Funny story!. We go through phases and are fortunate to have other cars to choose from!

At one time I realized I put 100 miles on my NSX in two months. It bit back at me and when I went to start it battery was dead LOL. Weird how we go through phases since this car is heavily modified and such a driving experience but I tend to still go towards the SL.

Probably because its less of a "chore" to drive, but I really think I'll always have to have an SL now.

 

very nice write-up, poem by any chance?? :P

 

I call mine my mistress. You stroke her ever so gently with her top down and she will make your heart race and body shake. With her top up shes always a lady and means business.
No need for the guilt because she wont ever tell.

 

Lol. You two timing ba$tard.

 

Very fine story.

But you are no PR Chris.

 

If whit was **** you'd stink!

 

E500...drop dat tired azz ho haha lol ...u got a new bi*ch now do what a true pizzimp playa gotz to do!

 

I drove the E500 this morning. I felt bad.

 

It's good to have a mistress...

 

You gotta get a new picture of that SL man, to combat the that one you have of the E. Cause from my end of the Computer screen, the E is still teh sex.

 

Clayton...are you watching too much internet **** again ?

 

Dude that is just friggin hilarious!!!!

Benzo - u got ur cars textin you now...what up wit dat home!!!

 

Hilarious. But can you ever really watch TOO much ****? I think not.

 

+1 to that. BTW, I've still had no luck im my search for an SL55 AMG.

As the Coasters used to sing " been a searchin every which way".

Boy I miss the Van Dykes at the Varsity Grill in College Park, now that was a band.
The peanuts, sawdust and the beer .

 

thanks for ur story... i think u were just bring naive to think e500 is most beautiful on earth...

i am going to be unfaithful to my SL and CL as a panamera S is going into my garage soon... my first porsche....

 

Panamera...that's one mistress with herpes...return her promptly for her sister the graceful 911 .... lol

 

It's too bad Porsche made that thing look so nasty, could have been the Sedan to have (Porsche + Sedan should =

 

Oh boo, the Panamera has a big ole butt that is saggy. Excuse the harshness, but it looks like a 911 had impregnated a VW Bug and that was the result. I expected so much better, but oh well.

 

Same ^^ That rear is just .

I've come to the conclusion that Porsche is good at making only one look: The 911.... Fortunately for them, the design has been drawn out for them from decades upon decades ago.... All they have to do is not deviate from that original too much, and they hopefully shouldn't ever send it the styling way of the Panarama and co.