e55izm

The other day I went to go start my car, it wouldn't start. So I jump started it, car started up, drove to the gas station, turned the car off. it never started again. i was stranded at the gas station for hours trying to figure out what happened to it, after I couldn't figure out what was the matter with it i had to push it home. Everything in the car works except it just won't crank. lights on the dash are ESP MALFUNCTION, ABS MALFUNCTION, RED BATTERY LIGHT IS ON. (PUT A BRAND-NEW BATTERY IN AFTER I GOT IT HOME). WHEN I PUT THE KEY IN THE IGNITION IS SAYS REMOVE KEY. WHEN I TRY TO START IT THERES NO CRANK AND THE FAN JUST COMES ON HIGH. BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE EVERY SINGLE THING IS WORKING EXCEPT IT JUST WONT START.