miami1lt

Ok, i'm a pretty reasonable and personable guy...and since I wash my car weekly (if not more), I expect the passing comment every now and then...however, I keep getting the same ones from the same people, and it's driving me nuts...any good comebacks to the following:

1) "Can you wash mine next", followed by a the obligatory laugh
2) "Where should I park my car", same as above
3) "You're going to wash the paint right off of that thing", same as above
4) "Have you heard about the water shortage", same as above

Like I said...first time offenders are ok, as I feel they are just trying to be friendly...but it seems to be the usual suspects lately, and before I say something that degrades the MB community, I'd like to get a nice reply that keeps them from making comments again, but doesn't make me out to be a d!ck. Thanks!

Sincity

In response to 1 and 2, "what do I get in return?" Only used if your neighbor is hot.

miami1lt

Actually, one is a dude so that is a no-go...the other is a hot chick...and while I think that would work (get her to put up or shut up), it may leave me in a custody battle...don't need that

1st amg

Sounds like you have the same disease as I, I simply justify it by telling people I enjoy doing it as it relaxes me and that a clean car personifies a clean and organized person(sometimes this offends) but who cares about the wisecrack as they hurled one your way anyway.

kickR

2) If it's a nice car, in my garage with your keys but you won't be getting it back.
3) You told me that last month and I think there still is some paint left *start scrubbing hard*
4) Yes, this is my shower, can't you see? *soak yourself*
1) Sorry, Mr/ Mrs X told me about the water shortage. Discuss it with them.

or

Sure, but only if you help me.

miami1lt

Nice, I definitely will use number 3...that is the perfect retort to get the kinda smirk back but keep them from saying it again.

As for the disease...yes, it is a pride disease...I was picking up my former boss, a big M3 guy...and it had poured for 3 days...well, it stopped raining 30 min before I went to get him but the roads were still wet...so I got there 10 min early and wiped it down in the parking lot. He came out and was like "Damn, this thing shines even in the rain"

I think it is such a waste to have such a wonderful car like this, but let it look like @ss. One irritating thing here in HI (and FL too) is that there are sprinklers EVERYWHERE, and the streets are always wet, even with no rain. I just go hazards on and crawl through at like 2 mph...

avengerboater

Haha. You're gonna cause a lot of rear-end collisions.

e1000

1. I'll wash yours next if you pay my next car payment
1. Do you ask people to bathe you if they take a shower every day too?

2. Anywhere you want, it's your car not mine.
2. Right next to the other dirty cars.

3. I'll give it my best shot
3. At least it'll look good until I do
3. Two words, nano paint

4. No, I was too busy washing my car.

yaymitch

All good replies.

Shellbmb

1. No. Uhhh......no.
2. Why do I give a f*** where you park your car?!!
3. My car is like a tootsie pop. With every wash, I get closer and closer to the chocolate chewy center.
4. What water shortage? We live on a f****** island. There's water in every direction!

miami1lt

Number 4 is another winner.

These people here treat this place like everything is the last natural resource on Earth...it is hardened Earth-puss that spewed out of a giant Earth-zit at the bottom of the ocean (I know, disgusting visual, but true). Anyway, I'm thinking water isn't here shouldn't be an issue.

And number 2 is what I'd love to say...I think my face has said that a few times, but I always do the uncomfortable laugh back instead of saying it.

MNL ICE

1. F U
2. F U
3. F U
4. F U

JohnEnglish

Yeah but it's salt water. You're free to wash your car with that if you want.

rantarC63

1) No. This is the last one for the day.
2) Nowhere near mine.
3) Yup, that's the plan.
4) Yes. Terrible, isn't it? Have you heard about the oil shortage? If so, you'd better get to the gas station before me because my car has no understanding of fuel economy.

Another retort to the 4th comment could be that you are trying to keep your car in top condition so that it will last many years. By doing so, you will decrease the environmental impact from another car being produced by a factory and your car going to a junkyard prematurely.

c32AMG-DTM

These are funny.

If you really want to make them uncomfortable, for ones like #1 & #2, say "yes massuh right away massuh" or "yes massuh right over here massuh."

For #3 "maybe, time'll tell. Let's see who's car looks better in 3 years."

For #4 - not aware of HI's water situation, but if you have restrictions, you could be in a bit of a pickle. Serious comment (unlike above) - if you're washing weekly, or sooner, just to get light dust and grime off the car... have you tried ONR? When you first hear of it, it sounds like blasphemy I know, but the stuff works wonders for light touch-up washes. And conserves a ton of water.

blackc230benzo

I have the same problem but I'm friendly with my neighbors so they know Im joking when I say these ones. But now they don't ask so I guess they work.

1. I only enjoy washing nice cars, sorry
1. Sure wash and wax is 300, but since you are a neighbor 275!
3. I know, late last night I was driving and think I hit someone so Im trying to get rid of any evidence. Can you give me a hand before the cops come?

miami1lt

Good calls...and my neighbors are generally ok...some are little uptight and others are a little jealous (i'm the youngest guy on the block but have 2 x MBs--even though we are all doing the same thing and they all clearly make more than me based on rank, they somehow can't do the math real well).

Anyway, I like a lot of the respones (other than the FU's...but only because I don't want my car keyed or ruin the MB personification that is already extremely fragile).

I get the same thing when golfing with "amatures"...I'm no pro, but I can piece together a decent game...

1) "Does your husband play too" or "Hit it Sally" on a putt you leave short
2) "Just use your hand wedge" when burried in the sand, and they don't think you'll ever get it out...usually surprised here when dropped within a few feet.
3) "Do you have a chainsaw" when hitting out from a wooded area
4) "Do you want a tee" when pleasing your ball under winter rules
5) "Did you bring a snorkel" when you hit into a water hazard.

I guess my biggest frustration is that people in certain situations get uncomfortable, and fire out a ******* cliche. If you are that uncomfortable, just sit back and observe...you're upset you can't golf as well, and your embarrased by your POS car that hasn't been washed in a year. Don't make that my problem to deal with your insecurities.

I noticed the people who was their cars a lot are the opposite..."Hey man, I've got a great soap or wax, feel free to use it" or "What do you use on your wheels, they look great".

SebringSilver

I just acknowledge their comment and offer to give them a few pointers the next time they do their own car.

King Cobra

I had the same problem with my neighbour, until one day I saw her washing her suv. I gave it back to her with a smile. No more comments after that! What ever you say, do it with a smile, so you don't offend them and still maintain a good relationship.

Even Money

I know what you're going through. I have the 040 black, and with pollen season, it's hard to keep clean more than 2 days. I usually wash it about once a week, but I think that's excessive and has, from what I can see, introduced too many swirl marks. After I polish it in a few weeks, I'm gonna try the foam gun wash and try to avoid actually scrubbing the car. Even the microfiber mitts can cause marks.

-michael-

+1