First off I am a beginner here, and second I'm from New Zealand. I apologise in advance if this post is in he wrong forum or I'm breaking a law or 2.

My plan is to keep this simple and I am trying very hard not to hate this car but I'm failing miserably. This is our first Mercedes Benz and simply speaking this car is too digital for my liking. Call me a Luddite but I like my car to be more analogue than digital.

That said I am looking to see if people from this community can point me in the direction of people or business' who can help me address the following:-

Mercedes Benz Servicing Instructions

01. Permanently disable / remove Traffic Sign displayed in instrument cluster
02. Permanently disable / remove any Internet / Communications device and any instrument cluster icon
03. Permanently disable Lane Assist and any instrument cluster icon
04. Permanently disable Hands On steering wheel and any instrument cluster icon
05. Permanently disable distance warning and any instrument cluster icon
06. Disable Eco (ignition on / off when stationary) drive mode
07. Disable all / any data collection
08. Delete all / any stored data, to date
09. Set Dynamic driving mode to profile
10. Change default Dynamic driving mode to " I " or "S"
11. Turn off display on a timer, on startup
12. Disable audio effects e.g. Engine note in Sport mode
13. Disable seat belt warning when seats unoccupied
14. Disable driver / passenger side proximity sensors, not front & rear
15. Disable remaining proximity sensors audio warnings. Display only
16. Disable SOS inoperative warnings
17. Disable Service reminders
18. Disable blue P in instrument cluster, next to lane assist
19. Increase audio / stereo volume 2x
20. Disable Driver door open warning and automatic braking, when parking

Ensure any warnings / messages related to the above settings are permanently disabled.

I have approached a couple of business' already, one from the UK and another from the US who claim to provide remote support and coding options etc. One initially responded promptly but has since ghosted me after I asked for more detail, and the other has not responded at all.

Now I could go on, but want to keep this simple and I'd rather not hear they word "safety" any more, as my old car was perfectly safe without any of this stuff.

Appreciate any help, in advance.

Cheers