bob2011

Hi everybody, this is a rather stupid question but how do you guys launch your cars when you are trying to beat the nearest ricer? i know people have said to stomp on the brake and push the car up to 2500 RPM's but for me the tires start to spin at 2000 rpm. I know that there is a launch control on the the E63 but there is none on the E350 or E550. so how do you guys launch your cars? what steps do you guys take? I would love some feed back!

RNBRAD

Honestly, not too many ricers I even have to worry about, don't even have to mash it that hard. When I raced my brothers 335i, I just dropped it down with the paddles. Off the line I didn't stomp it but mashed it pretty good. If I stomp it, I'm sideways in a hurry.

bob2011

I unfortunately do not have the problem of going side ways since my car is not pushing out too much power, :/. I have to deal with "rice" on a regular basis. I try to not stomp on it everytime i see a rice but its soo damn hard.....

RNBRAD

Well then buy a 550. Then you can put your wife and 3 kids in there, trunk full of groceries, and smoke the next ricer on your way home and tell the kids to wave bye bye to him!!

Funny was on the turnpike one day just cruising 75+ and here comes a couple low rider ricers from a car show down south I figured.. One was a mazda M something, the 1st one that pulled up on me. Well dude went to pass me and he stopped right next to me. I guess it was a stick shift cause he wailed on the fart can muffler as he was even with my car. I'm like . He takes off, I let his rear fin get to my front clip then I hammer it. That guy had to be like . I made him look like he slammed it into reverse. I mean really, if you want to race, at least bring something that's worth a run. These ricer dudes think their cars are fast. In the world of ricers, yea maybe, but in the world of German V8's, not worth the energy it takes to push the pedal.

chrisvr6

Is a gtr a ricer?

RNBRAD

(Ricer: from the latin word Ricarius meaning to suck at everything you attempt)

A person who makes unecessary modifications to their most often import car (hence the term "rice") to make it (mostly make it look) faster. The most common modifications are (but not limited to):

- Huge exhaust that serves no purpose but to make the car louder
- Large spoiler on the back that looks like something Boeing made for the 747
- Lots of after-market company stickers they don't have parts from, but must be cool
- Expensive rims that usually cost more than the car itself
- Bodykit to make the car appear lower, usually accented neon or LED's
- Clear tail lights and corner signals
- A "performace intake"- a tube that feeds cold air to their engine usually located in areas of excessive heat (behind or on top of the engine)
- Most of these riced cars (a.k.a. rice rockets or rice burners) are imports; Honda Civics, Accords, Integras, CRXs, RSXs, Del Sols Mitsubishi Eclipses, Lancers, Subaru Imprezas, however there are some domestics such as Chevrolet Caviliers, Dodge Neons, Ford Focus; small, slow, economy cars designed specifically to go slow. Please note that some Supras, Skylines, WRX's and other higher performance imports are designed to go fast, and are therfore not always considered rice. It really depends on the severity of the case.

OR

When a moron (see: retard, dumbass) decides to take a car (foreign or domestic) and tries to make it look fast. The car will not really gain any hp or performance, but it will gain numerous stickers and yellow paint. It can be identified by one of the following:
1. The sound of a loud fart in a coffee can.
2. The yellow blob with a bookshelf on the trunk that is 1/4 mile behind real cars.
3. A Honda that has "performance mods" such as stickers, seat harnesses, and a fire extinguisher in full view (just in case the things catches on fire when it hits 40 mph).
4. A driver who claims his car has 100hp per liter but will not fess up to the fact that his car has a total of 43 ft/lbs of torque.


Chris, is it more clear what a ricer is now?

chrisvr6

How about a 9 second civic?

JDBKLYN89

Drives E350, is worried about racing..definitely a candidate for one of those annoying "your doing it wrong" pictures all over the internet.

chrisvr6

Lol. Thats what I'm getting at. I wouldn't dare embarass myself racing my e350.

BenzV12

RNBRAD rules the roost
Your explanatory posts are awesome and I like your comments on those ricers racers farting exhausts as well

ImInPA

So, if I am following this thread, the large Super Bird spoiler I put on my S350 is not making it faster? How about the NASCAR stickers?

Michael Khan

you can beat ricers in a e350, its easy lol, when im bored i usually just turn off traction control and use the mercedes benz break hold system and just slam the acceleration pedal and use my paddles.

chrisvr6

Whats the quarter mile time of an e350?

Michael Khan

ill try it out today when im going home from university and ill post it here, numbers will be different,m perfect launch is gonna make a huge difference.

chrisvr6

[QUOTE=Michael Khan;5546426]ill try it out today when im going home from university and ill post it here, numbers will be different,m perfect launch is gonna make a huge difference.[/QUOTE
What are you going to do?

Michael Khan

ohhh, going to find out quarter mile time, im guessing a 14-20s between that maybe.

chrisvr6

So you're going to the track? You mean 14.20's or 14-20? Lol

Michael Khan

lol not going to a track but there's a section by my university which me and a few friends found out it is exactly quarter of a mile, i mean 14sec-20sec.

chrisvr6

So how are you going to time it? You have a gforce meter then?

Michael Khan

yea, my friend has a vbox, ill see if he can bring it.

bob2011

OH well I'm sorry my parents did not get me a E63......................,And I'm not worried about racing, Its not like my post said "please tell me how to be super uber fast on the track with my E350" But i appreciate all criticism, helpful or otherwise!

bob2011

I have not lost to one ricer to date, though i have lost to a camero ss
Sure the E350 is no sports car, but as a full time student i really had no choice in picking my car, my parents just kinda presented it to me, and thats all i have to work with.

SnakeDoctor

Or you could laugh at anyone trying to race...especially against an E350.

It's different if you have a fast car, but then again you'd know it's fast, so what's there to prove?

If you really cared that much, just roll down the window, look at their car (the ricer ones you mention), and either give a thumbs up or laugh. That would be the douche thing to do. But hey, I suppose they started it.

bob2011

embarrass? I dont see how im embarrassing my self. but please enlighten me. but please don't say "because its a e350" the car has plenty of power for me, and frankly this is The hand I was delt, and I'm damn proud of it!

K-A

I think around high 14's-15.0 @ around 90-low 90's MPH on a pre-2012 (I'm sure could be better but that seems like a moderate average when I looked it up). 2012+ E350's will knock a few tenths and add a few MPH's (mid-high 14's at mid 90 trap speeds).