We may not all be parents, but we've all been stupid kids at some point in time!

 

Amen to that! LOL

But as a counterpoint, I think there's a tendency to coddle and protect children a bit too much in the modern age. It's a direction that's leading our future generations down the path to weakness and reliance on others. I have two boys, and I have every intention of letting them make their own mistakes (when they get a little bit older), and allowing the mistakes that they'll inevitably make to help them become stronger individuals who can stand on their own two feet.

That's not to say that I'm going to just watch them come to some early demise without stepping in when necessary. But as a parent, we are not only in a position where we can only do so much, but where we SHOULD actually only do so much. We try our best to set good examples, and the rest is up to them.

I'm not saying we should hold up Pixar as the handbook for how to rear our offspring, but that movie "Finding Nemo" is a lovely reminder of how sometimes we as parents really do need to let go in order for the children to come of age.

 

No question at all, kids should most definitely learn by making their own mistakes. However, as parents you have a duty to make sure their lives are not at risk. For example when they are young you hold their hand while crossing the street. If you don't, they may get hit by a car and die. That's not really lesson you want your child to learn on his own.

But as you say, when they grow older they NEED to learn from their own mistakes...but some things are not negotiable in my mind. I often hear stories of parents letting their teenage children have parties in their houses with alcohol because the theory is "they're gonna drink anyway so might as well be under our supervision". I do NOT agree with this theory.

Discipline has all but disappeared since I was a kid and children nowadays have little to no respect or fear of their parents. That is in my mind the biggest concern for our future generations.

 

I agree. I think those parents who are completely "hands off" are as much at fault for the fate that awaits their children as the children are themselves. I agree with you that discipline is important and it needs to be ingrained into them at an early age. At the end of the day, what most parents find is that there is no one way to raise children. Just like our other social interactions, in the workplace, amongst friends, etc., what works for some people might not work for others.

 

I'm a firefighter and well trained in victim extrication. I've seen all kinds of high speed car accidents. I'm 31, I've owned 18 cars, and the last 3 have been German. The longer I've been on the job and the more accidents I've seen, I only drive German cars. You would be very surprised as to how well something as small as a VW Jetta or Mini Cooper holds up compaired to other cars on the road. I don't have kids, but when I do I'd put them in something German just for saftey.

Now, lets all get off the topic of how to raise a child to how we can make our cars faster

 

This thread is so retarded it's not even funny... I see a father who's buying or doesn't mind his 20 year old kid who already totaled 4 cars and is now getting a 135i...

This is a joke, but really if the father is this dumb and irresponsible for his own kid i cant imagine the son.

 

I totally disagree. I am in line with the OP and also those saying that it is a good idea for the child to get a 135i.

My main reasoning for this is that it really comes to parenting and something as simple as "he wrote off four cars already" is by no means a definition of the OP's quality as a parent. There is no single defining action that happens to a child that defines the way they will develop, it is a long process of both genetic factors and environmental factors.

At my age now, 22, I am seeing my friends and acquaintances start to make something of their lives or not, and there is a massive mix between successes and failures from varied backgrounds. I know people that come from very privileged backgrounds and also people that came to Australia as refugees and as I said, I see success in people from both background extremes.

I think that something like motivation comes from within a person, and this is instilled into the person by the parents and their life experiences. Motivation cannot be forced into someone by limiting their exposure to high end goods/services/experiences. In fact, I am of the personal belief that exposure to "the better side of life" is an integral part of growing up as it shows someone what is actually available if you want it to chase it. This theory can be applied on all levels of affluence as well, not just for lower incomes.

In regards to driving and being young, TRUST ME, you can kill yourself in ANYTHING. I don't give a **** if YOU couldn't kill yourself in a particular car previously, I'll just say you were not driving hard enough. I used to be pretty heavily involved in the street racing scene here especially with mountain driving and some of the most stupid **** I have ever seen has been people pushing cars that are just "shopping carts" well well beyond their limits. This, to me, is much more dangerous than having a nice, safe, well handling modern German car. Don't be fools and close your eyes and believe this stuff doesn't happen, because it does and you can't stop what goes on at night when your child is out on their own.

I think the OP is doing the right thing not only guiding the purchase, but also in giving driving lessons. A tool is only as effective as the person operating it right? ...And he is attacking this issue from both angles. If the son wants to get a 135i and he is paying for it himself, I think that you can't do anything to stop him because when someone wants something they will get it regardless of whether they are "allowed" to or not.

In fact, to put it bluntly, if I was dmyrick and my son made enough money in his early 20's to buy a brand new 135i, I'd feel pretty ****ing proud of my parenting thus far, especially as his son is actually respecting him enough to ask for his opinion AND then listen to the reply... Maybe the people replying in this thread are the ones that need to reflect on their parenting style, not the OP. To all the haters, MEH.

NOTE: No, I don't have children so I am limited in parenting experience. But I was only recently a teenager and am fresh in memory on how I was parented myself. My brand new C63 arrives in April, the one I paid for by myself

 

I'm hoping this initial post is a big joke because it is so irresponsible on so many levels.

"Responsibility" is a big word. Alot of people will never understand it and you can point to their parents for lack of knowledge because they don't understand either.

Provide new cars as rewards for fukkiin up? Good idea.

Also, I can tell who the liberals are here as they immediately look to blame something other than the kid like "he drives in an area where everyone drives aggressive or doesn't care". Responsibilty for ones own actions? Hilarious.

"City Bus" should be his mode of transport. They are very safe.

Come back and let us know how this incredibly interesting saga plays out.

 

I stopped reading after that point

 

Why did you buy a C63 if you don't like understeer?

 

You sound just like my father, are you two friends?

I agree, i got a Camry right now, but i am going to Grad school again for my MBA, after that i will be looking to spend some loot on a nice luxury car, and the Camry will be going to my soon to be wife.

 

Good judgment and parenting skill aside, how is this 20 year old, with 4 major accidents (we don't know if he has any other traffic violations on his record) going to get insurance for a brand new $40K+ high performance car? Here in California, there is not a company that would cover such a risk.

Just asking....

 

my kid would be skateboarding after totaling 4 cars.

 

+1

 

Wife? OK, here is some more fatherly advice: Get your MBA and in the meantime date as many women as possible. Always be honest and always be a gentleman. When you are 35, then get married to a gal around 25-28.

 

Hey, I just talked my kid into a BMW M3...he really wanted a 911 Turbo.
You think he'll be happy?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z031l0E_5n4

 

That's where i started . . . thats why my dad knows im responsible enough for him to get me a c63

 

a Vespa may look nice parked next to your c63...