Newest/Best kill
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From: Pacific NW
BENZO
Newest/Best kill
I drove my basically stock Benz to the club tonight and on the way passed not only a F360 but a Saleen S7. Whilst drinkin' at the bar I started talking to this sweet babe. My phone rang so in the process of digging my celly out of my pocket I grabbed my key and placed it on the bar. The super fine honey said "you have a benz" to which I smiled and nodded while talking to my broker about a Japanese stock I needed to sell.
Once the call ended she asked me for a ride. Without even needing an ECU upgrade or an exhaust we drove back to my house so fast that she was still awake and interested in me by the time we got to the door 13 miles away. During that drive I also passed a c6 vette, but he looked kinda depressed.....
So next thing you know she and I are naked and due tot he fact I had drank enough and my Mercedes was fast on the highway without the slighest mod (though I am gona mix a Kleemann 2 and some RennTech parts next week) I kill'd it and when we woke up she looked outside at my sweet but stock benz and I kill'd it again.
So my friend that is a true kill story, a vette, a girl, and no rennTech parts to speak of! thank you daimler G I owe you a big one!
Once the call ended she asked me for a ride. Without even needing an ECU upgrade or an exhaust we drove back to my house so fast that she was still awake and interested in me by the time we got to the door 13 miles away. During that drive I also passed a c6 vette, but he looked kinda depressed.....
So next thing you know she and I are naked and due tot he fact I had drank enough and my Mercedes was fast on the highway without the slighest mod (though I am gona mix a Kleemann 2 and some RennTech parts next week) I kill'd it and when we woke up she looked outside at my sweet but stock benz and I kill'd it again.
So my friend that is a true kill story, a vette, a girl, and no rennTech parts to speak of! thank you daimler G I owe you a big one!
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From: Harpers Ferry, WV
SLK55, Ford F350 Diesel, WV Jetta TDI
nope
Forget (for now) what he's driving - I wanna see pics of the chick that he "killed" with his Benz ! Maybe there's still hope for me 
(ummm, don't tell my wife though)
(ummm, don't tell my wife though)
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Joined: Jan 2006
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From: Pacific NW
BENZO
Pics Pics Pics
Originally Posted by C43AMG
This thread is worthless without pics! BTW - what are you driving ?
I drive a mercedes. It is Pewter and really hot chicks like it.
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Joined: Feb 2004
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From: San Diego
2002 C32 Black/Charcoal
Originally Posted by Pacific NW Guy
I drove my basically stock Benz to the club tonight and on the way passed not only a F360 but a Saleen S7. Whilst drinkin' at the bar I started talking to this sweet babe. My phone rang so in the process of digging my celly out of my pocket I grabbed my key and placed it on the bar. The super fine honey said "you have a benz" to which I smiled and nodded while talking to my broker about a Japanese stock I needed to sell.
Once the call ended she asked me for a ride. Without even needing an ECU upgrade or an exhaust we drove back to my house so fast that she was still awake and interested in me by the time we got to the door 13 miles away. During that drive I also passed a c6 vette, but he looked kinda depressed.....
So next thing you know she and I are naked and due tot he fact I had drank enough and my Mercedes was fast on the highway without the slighest mod (though I am gona mix a Kleemann 2 and some RennTech parts next week) I kill'd it and when we woke up she looked outside at my sweet but stock benz and I kill'd it again.
So my friend that is a true kill story, a vette, a girl, and no rennTech parts to speak of! thank you daimler G I owe you a big one!
Once the call ended she asked me for a ride. Without even needing an ECU upgrade or an exhaust we drove back to my house so fast that she was still awake and interested in me by the time we got to the door 13 miles away. During that drive I also passed a c6 vette, but he looked kinda depressed.....
So next thing you know she and I are naked and due tot he fact I had drank enough and my Mercedes was fast on the highway without the slighest mod (though I am gona mix a Kleemann 2 and some RennTech parts next week) I kill'd it and when we woke up she looked outside at my sweet but stock benz and I kill'd it again.
So my friend that is a true kill story, a vette, a girl, and no rennTech parts to speak of! thank you daimler G I owe you a big one!
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
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From: North Carolina
98 Black C43 , 12’ ML 350 Blutec
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
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Member
Joined: Jan 2006
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From: Pacific NW
BENZO
Wow you guys are harsh....
are you now insinuating i do not have a car either? the story was a joke, i found it funny! I mean it is funny. i do have an 06 e350. I mean if I was gonna lie would i not make the lie a little better? at least an AMG or an S class? also why would i lie to make internet friends???
By the way i like your rendition of the story, that was funny. and i do admit the story was fabricated but that was the idea, it was a different kind of made up kill.....look back I said I got home fast without even an ECU upgrade, good stuff!
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
By the way i like your rendition of the story, that was funny. and i do admit the story was fabricated but that was the idea, it was a different kind of made up kill.....look back I said I got home fast without even an ECU upgrade, good stuff!
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
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From: 38° 52′ 51″ N || 94° 48′ 11″ W
'01 C320 || '14 Honda Pilot EX-L
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
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Joined: Mar 2004
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From: Orange County
2003 C32, 1999 E320 Wagon
Originally Posted by Pacific NW Guy
are you now insinuating i do not have a car either? the story was a joke, i found it funny! I mean it is funny. i do have an 06 e350. I mean if I was gonna lie would i not make the lie a little better? at least an AMG or an S class? also why would i lie to make internet friends???
By the way i like your rendition of the story, that was funny. and i do admit the story was fabricated but that was the idea, it was a different kind of made up kill.....look back I said I got home fast without even an ECU upgrade, good stuff!
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
By the way i like your rendition of the story, that was funny. and i do admit the story was fabricated but that was the idea, it was a different kind of made up kill.....look back I said I got home fast without even an ECU upgrade, good stuff!
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
In fact, it looks like you ran it through Babel Fish a couple of times before you posted it.
Just sayin'.
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Posts: 15,769
Likes: 37
From: www.Traben-Trarbach.de
MPG+ ROLFCOPTER
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"Blowlinda"
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"Blowlinda"
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
Thread Starter
Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 180
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From: Pacific NW
BENZO
you guys are weak
weak, weak, weak, funny the guys questioning if i really have a car are driving old beaters. see that is the problem, those without or with inadequacy issues attack others. that is what is truly funny.
good stuff.
good stuff.
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Joined: Mar 2005
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From: sac, calif.
'06 slk55
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
That's some funny sh*t! Thanks. I really, really enjoyed that. In fact, I just bookmarked this thread. I'll visit it whenever I need a laugh.
Last edited by dsb; Jan 18, 2006 at 06:30 PM.
Thread Starter
Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 180
Likes: 0
From: Pacific NW
BENZO
what is even funnier
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,894
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From: Connecticut
2003 CLK55
Originally Posted by Pacific NW Guy
it was a different kind of made up kill.....look back I said I got home fast without even an ECU upgrade, good stuff!
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
I fashion myself as the big Jerry S (except for the white sneakers and tight jeans).
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,248
Likes: 3
From: Fallon, NV
BMW and Mercedes
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
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From: Kenilworth, il usa
GT63S ePerformance 4dr, '25 Bentayga Black Ed.(wife), Wrangler and 250 MLB(kids)
Originally Posted by Vomit
Let me interpret this into adult English:
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
"I drive a 240D with 300K miles. I live in a shiitbox town of 500 morons in the middle of the rainforest (which, BTW, includes everything from the Oregon-Cali border to Canada). Tonight, I was feeling depressed and semi-suicidal from nearly one month straight of rain, so I fired up the old stinkpot and headed over to Mack's Bar to suck down a couple of Colt 45s. When I got there, I had a few too many, so I decided to get my inflata-doll and portable compressor out of the trunk. I inflated "Blowlinda" and sat her next to me at the bar. We talked for a while (she's the quiet type), when my foreman called me on my walkie and told me to get my **** back down to the jobsite. I told him to shove his $6.75/hr., and then pretended (for Blowlinda's sake) that I was doing a stock transaction. Then I took Blowlinda for a ride. After 10 malt liquors, she looked really hot. I passed another depressed guy in a Monza. I took Blowlinda to my 1973 18' Terry trailer (which I share with Ma and my three retarded brothers) and literally basted her with my lovejuice.
So that, my friend, is a true night of partying and romance, Pacific Northwest style."
