What fun I had yesterday evening!

I was trying to simultaneously primp myself in the vanity mirror and merge our freshly delivered SL65 AMG onto the West Side Highway, when from nowhere this dirty poor mechanic looking man in a Ford Ranger goes road rage on me!

I was frightened , as I saw his dirty unpolished fingers flicking me off through his shattered trash-bag covered windows. Mr. Home Depot began to flash me with his seemingly dead halogen headlights; little did he know my roadster was equipped with auto-dimming rear view mirrors.

While frightened at first, I later found it difficult to wipe the smirk off my Prada moisturized face! As I stomped on the AMG pedal with my Guccis' to activate the V12 Bi-Turbo’s 612 horsepower and 450 kW of torque, all I could see through my Fendi (Model 7221) glasses/auto dimming rear view mirror was a mere ‘dot’! Not quite satisfied, so I slow down to about 55 mph and wait for his hooptie to pass my AMG Masterpiece (Custom red Napa Leather spec'd).

He catches up; passes and I begin to follow him like David & Victoria Beckham’s son Brooklyn’s life depended on it!

I tried to flash him with my Bi-Xenons’ but accidentally hit another stalk with my slippery freshly manicured hands (Chanel).

I tried again, this time with more force. I furiously begin to release the High-Intensity charged Bi-Xenons like Donatella Versace throwing her out her last-season couture through the Gianni designed stained glass windows of her Milan estate! I could see his scary eyes un-moisturized, and un-trimmed eyebrows through his broken mirror.

I wind down the passenger side window. He looks stunned. He is either (a) distorted by my captivating beauty, or (b) distorted by my captivating beauty! I furiously throw my Mirrolaca Frappuchino through the window while kindly press down on my aluminum trim AMG pedal, graciously giving him one last remembrance of my V12 Bi-Turbo engine.

Tired of the frolicking, I merrily merged on to exit onto 72 St. When I glanced up at the mirrors, what do I see? Police lights. I began to panic, clutching onto my Yves St. Laurent chinchilla to ease the anxiousness.

The police officer slowly steps out of his dirty, non-xenon-equipped Impala with his ugly Wal-Mart shiny boots and begins to question me.

With arrogance, I crack my windows down abet and asks what he wants. Money? Contacts? Tickets to next season’s fashion week????

He rolls his Neutrogena moisturized eyes, and proceeds to write the ticket. He tells me I was doing 95 on the freeway, and I look to him in his dirty eyes and began to tell him what I’m going through! I also explained my court-phobia! Believe me, I’ve been to court before and I will never sit on those wooden benches again! You should have seen the damage they did to my Prada trousers! Even Prada themselves could not save them.

He goes back to his car to write the ticket. I glance down at my Breitling Rescue Watch. 5 Minutes has passed. I slowly step out onto the chilly and damp streets of Manhattan, sensually revealing my pointy Gucci’s. (So pointy they are considered a weapon in the state of New Jersey)! Without thinking, I knock on his dirty window with my Prada moisturized hands and I demand him to hurry! I had a private fitting with Dior that evening!

I’ll finish the story later. I have to run.

Ciao!

 

Hmm..... Which Dior boutique did you go to? The one on 57th? That's the one my wife and I call for all our Dior needs. Well, if you have a private fitting, that would probably be one of the Haute Couture pieces, right?

Looks like we have another demented group member.

 

5TH Ave, hun.

My middle name is Couture, and i'll be damned if anyone in the western world recieves their first shipment of F/W 04-05 shipment of Hedi Slimane designed, Dior Homme couture before I do!

 

OK Queen, where abouts manhattan do u live

 

You got caught in one of your demented dreams again. There's only one Dior Boutique in New York and it happens to be on 57th between Madison and 5th (17 and 21 E. 57th, depending on whether you want Mr. Slimane or Mr. Galliano's collection). There's no Dior Boutique on 5th, except for Saks, which sells some Dior items.

By the way, the Fall/Winter collection has been available since late June and as far as I know, Mr. Slimane's collection does not have a hatue couture line. There was a private trunk show earlier this month that showcased Mr. Galliano's and Slimane's spring / summer 05 collection as well. Did you miss it?

Anyways, you really need to see a psychiatrist to determine what kind of medications you would need to stop you from dementing.

 

Sweetheart, you've obviously never been to Saks? If you would take off your poorly designed post-Tom Ford glasses you might catch it!

Dior Boutique- Saks Fifth Avenue is still registered as a Dior Boutique, so I’m not wrong babe.

Oh, and the S/S 05' collection will be chartered from Paris to my Central Park @ Columbus Circle residence first thing Monday morning! I sampled my items at the Dior Design Studio last month. I'm so exited!

In addition to Dior, my Marc Jacobs ready-to-wear is headed out to our Bridgehampton castle, but unfortunately I’m in *gasp* Texas right now, and looks like I’ll be here for a while! Can you believe, they don’t even have a Valentino boutique in Houston!!! How can anyone live without a little Valentino? No wonder the suicide rate is so high in Texas!

Hun, Let's talk. So how's the leased Starmark C-Class treating you?

 

Central Park @ Columbus Circle! (The new Time Warner building)

 

First of all, I don't think you know how to distinguish a man from a girl, or you're not very well educated to respect others. Please, in your demented tone, stop calling me, sweetheart, hun, babe, etc. FYI, I happen to wear a homme suit to my medical school interview two days ago in Boston. At least you're dementing with a relatively good taste.

Give Dior Corporate a call and see if they call it Saks a boutique or not. If you had been to a Dior boutique, you should have one of their receipts and in the back is the list of ALL Dior boutiques in the US. It just so happened that Saks is not listed. Moreover, Saks do purchase their Dior items indepedent of Dior America. Do your homework first before you start pretending something you're not. You're just unlucky that some one that really knows the stuff is around to burst your bubbles .

Be sure to show us pictures of your SL65 and your new Dior items too. Can't wait to see them. At least, I know I'm driving an MB that I paid for with my own money. It might be an entry level model, but who cares? As long as I enjoy my ride, that's all I care. I know life could be hard sometimes, but living your fantasy out in the internet is not healthy. Go get a life. It's Friday night!

Are you going to be in Houston for long? I will be at Texas Medical Center / Baylor College of Medicine next Thursday. I would love to meet in person.

 

wtf just happened here??? who is this queen and who let him in here. Wow i thought i knew a lot about clothing...wow i've just got a migrane from reading this crap. I want my 5 minutes back!!!

 

wtf just happened here??? who is this queen and who let him in here. Wow i thought i knew a lot about clothing...wow i've just got a migrane from reading this crap. I want my 5 minutes back!!!

 

Dude, you need a break. Sorry about the mess. This online impersonator is so fun to play with.

 

FAINTS*

*Retrieved from floor by In-House Staff*

You mean you don't know who Donatella Versace is?

*Squints Prada moisturized eyes*

I don't even know what to say anymore. I give up!

HELLO! DONATELLA VERSACE. SISTER OF THE LATE GIANNI VERSACE (1946-1997) SHE TOTALLY TOOK OVER THE EMPIRE AFTER HE WAS GUNNED DOWN ON THE FOOTSTEPS OF HIS PALM BEACH MEDITTERANEAN ESTATE ON THAT EERIE SUNNY JULY MORNING I WILL NEVER FORGET. SHE NOW OVER-SEES THE VERSACE, VERUS BY VERSACE AND THE VERSACE CLASSIC LINES. IN A COUPLE OF YEARS HER DAUGHTER (ALLEGRA) WILL HAVE SOLE-OWNERSHIP OF THE EMPIRE.

I would think something like this would be incorporated into the school history book, no?

I certainly find this more important than the silly wars. Oh Lord, what has this world come to?

*reaches for Gucci tissue*

 

Go get your personal shrink or your antibiotic. Based on my limited knowledge on neuroscience / psychiatry / infectious disease, you seem to have tertiary neurosyphillis with classical symptoms of "illusion of gradeur"!

 

I don't appreciate you calling me an impersonator. But if you must act in such a unclassy manner, I shall do the same.

So, why in the name of Hermes ready-to-order would you buy an entry-level Mercedes? Let me guess..........

You're part of the Wal-Mart crowd?

Surely you knows you'll be the laughing stock of the Beverly Hills Country Club if you shows up in that starmarked certified pre-owned vehicle? Even Michael DeLorenzo's (C-List actor) daughters’ wouldn’t approve!

Sweetheart, when you graduate The Wal-Mart University of Medicine, might I suggest buying a *gasp* ML500, at least?

Yes I know the (facelifted) 05' C-Classes' could be dubbed '&-Chic' ('&' behing Dolce&Gabbana's entry level collection) but it's just not enough!

Right before me, Tom Ford left the Gucci group..... It happened right before my Prada moisturized eyes, which left me distraught. Distraught and lonely. I've never felt so depressed since Rhonda and Jessica Smith 'up-did' me by showing up at the Manchester Country Club in the V12 Vanquish while I was still driving my lowly DB7.

Oh, I wept for days on in at my Tatton, London estate. Even the unveiling of Valentino's new flagship boutique couldn't get me out of my Armani Casa linens!

The moral of this story is that you only live once. Please don't settle for a Cheap-Class, okay hun?

*Reaches for Gucci tissue to dry teary eyes*

 

*Removes Prada glasses*

I can't believe I'm reading this!

*Throws Bang & Olufsen phone into air*

I try to extend my La Mer moisturized arms out to this forum, and this is the thanks I get?

Even the poor don't treat me like this! You all should be greatful!

 

 

Produce EVIDENCE of your possession of an SL65 then. If you couldn't, just go grab your pills and rest. May god have mercy on your poor soul.

I don't care what other people think. I just drive what I like, unlike someone that HAS to drive an imaginary vehicle. Come on, grow up. Jesus Christ.

 

So, are you going to be in Houston next week or not, Mr. / Miss / Ms. SO-CLASSY?

 

Wow... I can't believe I spent my time reading this... I just kept laughing.

Funny part is, only the true wealthy man with an SL65 would not flaunt what he has and would not go into detail to show his female aspects. Don't post that stuff again, you want respect, earn it, otherwise pipe up Fabio.

And yes, I typed this to you while wearing my Wal-Mart watch and K-Mart Jeans, can I get an AMEN fellas!?

 

A-M-E-N !



Man, that was some entertainment for a bored graduate student that is grading paper in Friday night (plus homecoming weekend).

 

Hey Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, maybe you need to visit the mbusa.com website again to correctly depict that your SL65 has 604 and not 612 h/p. Gotta ge tthe fact straight when you're bull****tin bro/girl..

 

Honeybunch, I have nothing to lie about! Lying into cyberspace is so pointless!

I could be doing other things right now, such as ordering from the Fendi look-book, but I came here to share my story with the few people that care to listen!

OMG, It’s just an anyday $200,000 car! You’re acting as if I’m bragging about our G-7 jet! Get over it! Some people live fabulously!

 

By the way, it's Versus by Versace. Gotta get the names right when you bull****tin'. No Louis Vuitton? No Salvatore Ferragamo? No Zegna material? BSer!

 

Did you forget to take your antibiotic (penicillin, erythromycin, tetracycline, etc) for your Treponema pallidum tertiary infection? If you don't know what that is, ask Meryl Streep or watch "Out of Africa".

 

Hun, sorry for the typo. When you're this busy and fabulously important it's hard to remember stupid numbers! 604 and 612, what's the difference?

All I know is I got the SL65 AMG for comfort and style purposes! I was so depressed and traumatized sitting in those tiny Porsche 911 seats, wrinkling my Yves St. Laurent ready-to-wear trousers! Poor Ferragamo boots… they had to go through so much while driving manual!

Even my groomist advised I stop driving the Porsche (for appearance and manicure's sake)

Until Lamborghini offers automatic on the Murcielago, I will never sway far from the AMG brand! How about that SLR?