Hi All,

I've been a viewer of these fine boards for a while but felt as though I had no reason for posting until now. Recently I had my first AMG experience at the hands of the utterly savage E55!

My current car is a 2003 20th Anniversary VW Gti mildly tuned to around 215-ish hp, and while it's quick, it feels like an asthmatic sloth compared to the E55. I realized beforehand that my car would feel that way in comparison but that didn't prepare me for what the 55 actually felt like at full beans with a soundtrack reminiscent of gattling gun! J-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-sus! I wanted to crap my pants but I was too damned puckered to do so!

The Mercedes-Benz E55 is ****ing brilliant!

Let me back it up a bit here.... I got to join my dad to check out a silver E55 that the local dealership had in stock. He's been seriously considering a Porsche but decided against it as an all-weather car and he likes the E90 M5 but hates the 2 year waiting list and so in a serendipitous moment he came across a 2006 E55 and decided to have a look-see.

Stepping out of his E500 sport and into the E55, I could have sworn that they were too entirely different species. Actually, I simply swore in general as the seats hugged my torso in a decidedly intimate way. "Christ almighty! I feel like I'm back in the womb!" was muttered at one point, I believe. The switchgear and fascia was all familiar E-class save for a beefier wheel and 320km/h speedo, but there was definitely an intangible feeling of it being "more". Before the key was even close to the ignition I felt my pulse rate increase. This is truly a special car.

When the key finally did find the ignition, my ears were treated to a much more substantial 'woof' than I was expecting. I had read that the E55 had a much quieter exhaust than that of it's SL sibling, but to me it sounded perfek! There was only a whisper of supercharger whine while inside the cabin, too, which was another pleasant surprise. Once we set off it fell into a hushed attitude, however, there was always this electric feeling of it being poised on its tiptoes ready for an all-out g-force assault.

Out on the road we broke free from traffic and that's when I discovered what 515 lb/ft of torque feels like. With the throttle pinned to the floor it felt like I was being punched in the back and slapped in the face all at once. Simply magic. I tore my gaze from the road ahead and took a look at the guages and was astonished to see that the speedometer and tach needles were in almost perfect accord - the speedometer needle racing around the dial as fast as the sodding rpms!! "Blood and sand!", as my father so eloquently put it.

Now, that was a treat all in itself, but when I was given a go behind the wheel I felt like I was getting Christmas, my birthday, and a lap dance all in one! I must remember to say a prayer tonight to thank the Almighty - if not to apologize for all the blasphemous sentiments my mouth expelled during this 30-minute outing. "Christ on a c-r-u-t-c-h, I cannot****ingbelievehowfastthisthingis... it keeps on going!"

If the acceleration was spectacular, the brakes were nothing short of inhuman! I had test drove a 2.0t Jetta recently and felt the brakes were a bit spongey and began to fade hauling down from 160km/h, but this Merc tore us down from 190(!) in less time than it takes to say "Phwwwwooooar Blimey!" Seriously, these brakes are incredible! I compare it to skydiving and your parachute not only opens but it snags itself on a giant hook. I was fearful that the seatbelt would slice right through me!

Oh, and the noise. Sweet hallelujah, the noise! I know I already said it sounded fantastic, but it is so pure and racous that it deserves to be stated again. This car sounds like all the best things in life, digitally mastered and played through a gajillion watt stereo and 150" sub. I can now begin to understand why some people are drawn to having sex with exhaust pipes (you know you have all seen that video floating around the Web).

Its massive performance aside, i was truly impressed with this car beyond all others I've driven or ridden in. Not only will it thrash you around in good fun, but it cruises so sedately when you want it to, lapping up expansion joints and absorbing bumps with nary a protest. The suspension is genius, too. I realize that a Bimmer or Porsche will out-do it on a track, but I was floored by how well it composed itself through ultra-fast sweepers and tight bends.

I am now an AMG fan for life. If in some sick twist of fate my dad opts not to buy this car, I will shed more tears than is shed in an entire season of Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

To all of you fortunate E55 owners - I am extremely envious of you. While I'm at a point in my life where I'm saving money for my first home and just starting my career, I one day hope to be fortunate enough to be an AMG owner myself. Let the hard work and penny-pinching begin!

Cheers to all.

Here are some piccies!

 

Great writeup. There is nothing like an AMG. Screw BMW's M, Audi's RS, and whatever Lexus and those Japanese car companies are smoking. They will never have the torque and engineering of an AMG.

 

Has a VIN # and awaiting the ship!

 

Hilarious write up. Glad you guys enjoyed the E55

 

Very well written, and describes the true essence of the AMG experience. I am so sick of the incessant comparisons of the E55 & M5. They are very different cars for very different purposes. When I want to go carve up some turns, see 8000 RPM on a tach, and pretend to be Michael Schumacher, I break out my M3 SMG (which is as close as I will ever get to a M5). When I feel like cruising in total luxury & knowing I have devastating power on tap for smoking just about anything I will ever come across on a daily basis, I take the E55. I really don't see the logic in this seemingly endless pissing contest. Both cars are supremely effective at what they were designed to do. We should all just sit back for a second and be thankful that we have the means to drive cars at this level of performance and luxury. Most people will only be able to read about these cars and fantasize what it would be like to get behind the wheel.

 

Thanks for the kind words...makes me appreciate what I have! Take care and good luck on the house.

 

I haven't seen the "sex with exhaust pipes" video! How did I miss that?!

 

Ok I have to interject here- I do not believe that driving an E55 is better than a lap dance. Again this is my opinion.

Other than that, nice writeup, almost too nice. :p

 

I agree with your points...Also, the E55's prowess seems attainable (low end fun w/luxury), whereas the M5's sweet spot (high end fun) and driving characteristics (twisty fun) most people won't EVER experience, unless they are on a track or wish jail time in our local pokey.

 

That's a great story!! Sounds like some of the feelings I had during certain choice driving sessions.

Your dad will love that car! Tell him not to pass up on it.

 

Well written.

 

Have you ever thought of a career in writing? You are off to a good start. Excellent write up. And........tell your father to get the car and to be careful.

 

I gotta get one of these cars. I was sad to see my E500 go but will be so glad when I bring home an AMG car. I am trying to contain myself and wait until after the new year but reading this damn board makes it tough.

 

Thanks! It's great to see such a cool group of folks as yourself who are supreme ballers yet down to earth.

I would love to write for a car magazine (EVO preferably!) but I have a pretty cool job at a design agency where I get to do some creative writing already. Thanks for the compliments!

Again - it's an awesome community of enthusiasts you've got in here! Looking forward to contributing.

 

great write-up but i think u better change ur underwear!!! HAHAHA

 

Great write up!!

 

you should pick out where in this world you wish to work, send them a writing sample, (as this quick write-up cannot be your best work) and take that job. you deserve a 55 with skills like that. its a gift for sure.