Disclaimer: I have lots of good things to say - no doubt. This post, however, is not into that sort of thing. This is just the bad parts.


1 - BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP...
WARNING.. you are about to leave the car.. WARNING. The ASININE don't-forget-key warning is a massive failure. It is a boy-who-cried-wolf situation. Were there an alarm telling me I left the car in drive, or that my lights were left on, or that I was stepping out into dog feces, I would pay it no mind at all, because I am completely desensitized by having a loud blaring alarm EVERY SINGLE TIME I leave the car with no exceptions whatsoever. This is a massive failure that should be punished at the highest levels with physical abuse.

2 - Cupholder situation amazingly... dumb. I'm working under the assumption here that my cupholder situation in the E55 is the same as that in the E320 and everything in between. If the E320 has a raft of fat slob cupholders and cheeseburger trays everywhere and they only omitted them on the svelte AMG model, I could be consoled. I'm thinking that isn't the case however. That said, this is a sizeable sedan that we all bought in direct deference to the Lotus Elise. We could have had the Elise - no doubt, but we specifically said that we wanted to relax a bit, enjoy a coffee on the way to work, and/or carry around some passengers - maybe 4 of them. I might need 5 cupholders. They should all fold discreetly away of course. Instead I get this bizarrotron console device that transforms into a single useful cupholder with a sidekick caller the mocker. That little guys tempts you to put a drink in it. If one somehow did fit through the non-functioning expansion design, it would immediately tip out since it would have about 1" of support.

3 - The radio is always on. Sure, sometimes it is attentuated, but it is ALWAYS playing. And I know. Deep down inside I know that whenever the car is powered on, there are circuits decoding music. There is no OFF button - just mute. Right?

4 - If I'm listening to sirius and hit the info button (to make the display remotely useful) I can no longer change stations via the up/down buttons. I can still use the presets or the steering wheel controls, but no up/down browsing. If I change function and return to satellite or power off/on, it returns to the default jagoff setting, and I have to hit info once again to get it back to remotely useful.

5 - Almost all buttons/controls are obviously polled for presses and do not actively transmit a signal when pushed. This means if you hit the button at the wrong instant it is ignored. This is especially true of steering wheel controls. About 30% of button pushes are missed and do nothing. This happens 50% of the time when I hit the shutup button on the left side to silence the emergency leaving-the-car alarm (see #1).

6 - The traction control wants me to slow down. REALLY. If I turn it off, it isn't really off. Sure I can do some donuts, but when I get on it in a straight line it is still cutting my power. I can't win.

7 - 1st gear gives up just a second too soon. Inevitably in S mode, as I 'm holding back on acceleration around a starting turn to avoid wheelspin, the second I straighten out and am ready to pour on some power, it hits 2nd gear and kills me. If it could just hold on a second longer or until the car was straight I would give it some good news. I imagine this is actually a function of it holding 1st longer than usual to avoid shifting in the corner and being happy to finally shift once I straighten out, but i want it to notice I give it an extra centimeter of throttle after every low speed turn and adapt.

8 - The seat position memory works 90% of the time. Not 100%. A lot of things are like this.

Now for the good news... the navi gives a mean rim job.

 

LOL!!! Funny as hell, but the absolute truth too.

 

The only one of those that really bothers me is the beeping on exiting or entering the vehicle...which ironically does not ALWAYS beep...especially when opening the door.

 

you can diactivate the beeping.. anybody with the STAR system can do it.

 

what button is this?

I Have 2 cupholders that are exposed when I roll back the cover. Did they change cupholder design over the years?

 

Your dealer can turn off all beeping and annoying messages. My car no longer beeps or tells me that my teleaid is not working.

 

wow, I must have a different car, b/c none of this stuff applies to my experience

 

My dealership is used to dealing with people who will do anything (think credit crisis) to have that emblem on the front of their vehicle. In other words, it would be a waste of their time to provide top customer service or support. In other words, when I asked the 19 year old kid that runs the show about disabling this many times he professed it was impossible every time. Anyone in Atlanta have the skinny on disabling it? Also - other posts were not so concrete, so I will go so far as to say I do not believe you, and do not believe it is possible to disable this beeping (literal interpretations like removing the speaker or blowing the car up aside).

 

you obviously don't know the resource you've stumbled upon. the information available in this forum will far and away exceed ANY info you get from the uneducated masses at the dealerships and/or service centers. it's in your best interest to trust the poeple around here that are offering you advice.

 

Somehow my dealership cannot figure this out.

 

The asthmatic ventilated seats are a joke to me when it gets hot outside.

 

Believe it or not, I just recently found the two cup holders in the rear! I was cleaning the back out, and hit the armrest by miststake and pop! There it was. I also found the small glove compartment in the back at the same time! I guess I don't spend enough time back there, or my salesman overlooked them!

 

Oh no - I totally understand and appreciate the value and power of forums and this one in particular. The issue is that all research on disabling this alarm in particular nets innuendo and speculation at best. No material like "plug in the blah, go to registry 25aa and change the value 0 to 2, save, click ok 3 times and run the subreset motofoto option from the main menu." One big problem is that we don't have the ability to do this ourselves. I'm hoping one of us has this mystical machine and all the knowhow in his garage in Ansley Park and is happy to plug it up and change anything possible for kicks.

 

The harder you push it the longer the transmission will keep the gear. It's part of the adaptive program. Stomp on it a lot and it will shift accordingly. You can also reset the shift program and it will dump the memory and shift like a banchey.

 

Uhhh, my car has a power button for the Comand that turns everything, including the radio, OFF. Don't know about yours, but mine goes off completely. If you have issues with buttons that are being ignored, I'm pretty sure a competent dealer will find CAN-BUS errors that point to a problem that can be fixed. A lot of dealers either don't have the expertise to help, or do not want to change anything. Others can and have done things like the -10 deg. fan mod or even lowered cars through STAR. Keep trying.

 

03-05 (some) have the "butterfly" center armrest that perullo is talking about. The 05 (some) - current models have the roll back one that you are talking about.

 

poor poor us cars and all their funny gizmos

i guess euro spec does not suffer such things!

 

+1. this forum may just be the "mother" of all 211/55 information.

 

I hear Yoyota cars don't have any of the "problems" that are obviously really stressing you out. You ought to check out the new Avalon. It might be more appropriate for you. It comes in pretty colors.

p.s. this is the best MB forum on the web; I know b/c I've tried them all. You will find no more truth, passion, and experience about this car than here.

 

Listen to Kris. He has seen the light. It wasn't that long ago that he was calling us "Clones".

 

you got me on that one , though I meant it as a term of endearment, like the way Jim Rome uses it on his sports talk show.

I love this forum; can't wait to meet more of you one day in real life. Met a few of the east coast folks last October at an excellent drag race day at Maryland Int'l. RR. Everyone was enamored by my car, b/c it is the only Maroon E55 IN THE WORLD!!!

 

1 - thanks somebody for bringing up the ventilated seats. If I worked in finance at MB I'd have had them make the buttons for those cause the blue lights to illuminate, and nothing else. Why waste all the components in the seats and wiring when it does.... get this.. NOTHING.

2 - staying on the throttle to cause the xmission to adapt... Makes perfect sense except for the issue best exposed in this excerpt from a converation I had with my car this morning:
me: dude.. why did you shift??? I was JUST about to get on it... we JUST came out of that corner and I was in prime position to gas it. PLUS I try to gas it there EVERY time I exit a corner, and you never adapt...
transmission: you know the drill man... you gotta give it more throttle
me: come on man, you know if I gave it a millimeter more of throttle you woulda broken the rear end loose and the catholic-school-nun would've kicked in and slapped us all on the wrists, shifted to third and completely cut throttle
transmission: dude, that aint my department - you need to talk to the tires and suspension departments. I just work here.

Seriously, it might be nice if the adaptive shift deal also took input from you when in manual mode. It's basically impossible to communicate how you want it to hold onto gears because of traction issues, so noticing how long I hold onto 1st in manual mode might offer some insight.

Oh well.. I should cap this thread by saying I love the car. Gorgeous and runs like a bat out of hell.

 

Mr. Perullo,
That is some funny s--t.
Too true though. Just bought my used 2005 E55 and can't for the life of me figure out the whole engine power deal when holding it in high revs.
Say I am holding higher revs in 2nd gear around and on ramp and then mash the pedal... I will get nothing as if the gas just conked out.
Other times it is full on. Can't figure it out.
I believe it is associated with the ESP somehow but even with it off it is not full bore on demand at all times. Your thoughts?

 

The ventilated seats are useless on hot days, but after the gym, when your sweaty, it feels really good. (obviously id never, ever, get into my car when im sweaty, but i do get into my brothers cls when im sweaty...)

 

Loss of power from E55s is almost ALWAYS associated with the IC pump not cooling the supercharger and the supercharger shutting down. This part is replaced on every single E55 at some point...more than once apparently.