So I was thinking the other day about how life has ups and downs, good times and painful times, hills and valleys, and the down right good and bad times. At the same time I was thinking about how the purchase of my E63 over a year ago may be BOTH the best and worst thing I have done in a looong time. Here is what I mean.

The back story: Buying this exact car was not supposed to happen. I had gone and looked at the BMW M3, M5, and M6 (having just sold off my second M3 at the time), and was on the way to get an Audi S5 when the idea of the E63 presented itself (and an idiot Audi salesman made a huge mistake, ultimately leading to my E63 purchase). But when the thought of the E63 came up one night at my buddy's house over a few drinks, I immediately pounced on my laptop like a cat chasing a mouse and found a white 2008 E63 with Pano, black leather, and pretty much everything I wanted at a dealer in Texas that sells a lot of cars online. The car was nice, not perfect (missing a center cap and a few other little things), but I called the dealer the following morning to get the details and advised them I had to find one to drive before agreeing to any kind of purchase agreement for their car.

So a quick glance on Auto Trader yielded a whopping 1 E63 within 100 miles of my home in Indianapolis. That's right.....1 freaking car!! Luckily, it was only 15 minutes away on the other side of town. The only crappy part was that the car was black on black, which meant there was no way I was going to buy it. Ever. Been there with black cars before, and they were too much of a pain. Since I had no intention of buying this black one, and because I valued an independent opinion, I took a friend along with me to drive the car and give their opinion. We pulled up to the dealership and there sat the blackest, most evil looking car, that I had seen in a LOOONG time. Black, on black, with DARK black tinted windows. Woah. I smiled big thinking to myself, man this is going to be fun....sure is a bad thing that I hate black cars so much now...because this looks kind of mean.

The sales girl gets into the back seat, my buddy is up front, and I am driving. Driving along calmly down a section of highway that is 6 lanes on each side, my buddy comments that the car seems boring, and he has no idea why I would be looking for something like this. I smirk and say, 'Hold on a sec,' and proceed to PUNCH the gas pedal....hard. BOOOM!! The car shoots forward like a solid rocket booster just slammed into the trunk. In no time the car had rocketed from a mere 65 mph or so to WELL OVER 120 mph, with no intention of stopping. Like a fat kid at an all you can eat hot dog contest, this thing was out of control, and moving FAST! I clamped down the brakes, and my buddy said something to the equivalent of 'Oh sh*t!! What was that,' having had no idea the mild mannered 4-door had a split personality. He then demands that I buy the car. I too was VERY impressed....having known what AMG makes, I expected it a little....but DAMN, this car is serious business. Plus, the fact that it is naturally aspirated excites the engineering nerd in me. The sales girl (early 30s and surprisingly attractive) said, among other things, that she was fairly certain she just had a sexual experience from the acceleration. Wow. Just too damn bad it is black....although....black is a little more stealthy.

We go back, park the car in its spot on the lot, and tell the sales girl straight out that I am really not excited about the car being black, and have an eye on a white one, but enjoyed driving the car. We part ways, walk back to my car (looking back at this absolutely sinister vehicle in the lot) and go home, the whole time my buddy (who is NOT a car guy) is absolutely raving about the car. Still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the car can be a quiet luxury driver, or a bat out of hell with fire shooting from its wing tips, absolute hell beast of never ending acceleration. He says I have to buy it because it is fast, black as midnight, and probably the most wicked car on the planet...and nobody would expect it. Just too bad it is black....but it did look pretty nice cleaned up....hmmmm.

So the next day the dealership with the white one is sticking to their guns on price, and my impulsive gene kicks in and I figure, screw it, I am getting a white Audi S5. I call the local dealer to spec out an Ibis White S5, 6-speed, red interior, and some other goodies...and to lock down a test drive at 9 a.m. the next morning to drive an S5 to make sure I am happy with my choice. I moved the money over to checking, and was ready to buy myself an S5 the next day...or so I thought. Long story short (on this part anyway), the sales guy blew the easiest sale ever, from an impulsive customer that was ready to go. When I arrived (at the appointed time) he seemed upset I was there 'early', treated me like crap, and would not let me drive the car, but only look at a locked (and beat down looking) lease return that was on their back lot instead of a new one. It was at this time that the dealership with the black E63 called me and said they wanted to follow-up on the E63. I told them I was at Audi trying to get this dipsh*t salesman to sell me an S5. The guy replies, 'So what would it take to get you into this E63 today,' to which I almost laughed at the stereotypical car salesman line. Being impulsive, I shot them an offer I did not think they would take (because this Audi sales guy is just pissing me off....and I offered lowball on the E63 because I was not buying black), and he comes back maybe 20 seconds later and says, 'Come pick up your new E63'. Holy cow! They took the offer! I hung up, told the Audi rep that because he was a jerk, I just bought an E63 while he stood there, and I had to leave to pick up my car. I think he was too stunned to fully understand what had just happened. It was classic.

So I drove over to the dealership and saw my new baby sitting there...black as midnight, hunched low, and I swear the thing winked at me and then smirked, as if to say....'Boy....we are going to get into some serious trouble together'. Man I am a freaking genius to have bought black! This thing looks like Darth Vader and the Grim Reaper's carpool vehicle. BLACK IS THE BEST COLOR EVER FOR THE E63!! I am a damn genius!!

Here is where the good and bad comes in.

THE GOOD:
From the moment I saw this car, I should have known I was in trouble. As I cut the check for the car, the title guy says to me, 'I think you just bought the meanest car we have had in here in a long time,' to which I thank him and leave. He was right. One of the great things about this car is that I smile EVERY TIME that I get in it. I know that once this beast is awakened, some sh*t is going to go down. I feel like the freaking king of the world, and almost dare people to challenge me, because I will destroy them with a prod of the gas pedal. Also, it is good that it holds everything my almost 2 year old daughter can think to bring, is the safest thing on wheels short of a German battle tank, and has a smooth ride for the 2,000 mile round trips to Canada we take every few months. Also good is the fact that whenever I park it, I turn around so many times to look back and take in the reality that I own one of the best (and fastest) sedans on the planet, that I almost walk into parked cars. Oooops. In this category is that the car is black. Did I mention black is an amazing color for this car. ALL CARS SHOULD BE BLACK IF THEY LOOKED LIKE THIS!!

THE BAD:

From the moment I saw this car, I should have known I was in trouble. As I cut the check for the car, the title guy says to me, 'I think you just bought the meanest car we have had in here in a long time,' to which I thank him and leave. He was right. One of the worst things about this car is that I smile EVERY TIME that I get in it, and that smile usually means I am about to pick a fight with someone, or do something to endanger my already battered and bruised driver's license. Sh*t. I may have to move to another state to get one without points. Also a horrible thing, I know that once this beast is awakened, some sh*t is going to go down. I feel like the freaking king of the world, and almost dare people to challenge me, because I will destroy them with a prod of the gas pedal. HEY! You! Jerk off! You want to race, because I will kill you! Also, it is horrible that it holds everything my almost 2 year old daughter can think to bring. Do you have any idea how much crap a 2 year old girl has?? More than most small countries have, that is how much! Plus, since it has a smooth ride for the 2,000 mile round trips to Canada we take every few months, this car is always the one to go, so I am racking up miles like it is going out of style, and burning so much fuel that environmental groups protest on my front lawn every time I back out of the garage. Also terrible is the fact that whenever I park it, I turn around so many times to look back and take in the reality that I own one of the best (and fastest) sedans on the planet, that I almost walk into parked cars. Oooops. Damn! I think I just broke my leg walking into the hitch of that pick-up truck! Freaking heck, man! In this category is that the car is black. Did I mention black is an O.C.D. sufferers NIGHTMARE color for this car. When my dog farts next to it, the car is suddenly covered in dirt and needs re-washed about every 12 seconds. NOBODY SHOULD PAINT CARS BLACK BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE THIS!!

So here I am....with a nightmare and a dream, all in the same garage. What in world do I do now?

 

Good write up, enjoyed it as always

I was under the impression you sold your E63?

 

Wow, what a great read. You just brought back to my attention all the thoughts I had when I decided on my E55. These cars really are something else. Good to know I'm not the only one who keeps looking back at his car while I walk away

 

Awesome read. I remember when I was checking out a few cars before I got my E63. I was torn between initially a 335 or 5 series (wasn't too sure if I wanted to go up a notch in the sedan category) or perhaps an audi or merc. Well I got ticked off like you at the audi dealer I went to in Santa Clara because they wouldn't let me test drive an A6 (seriously whats the chance of a dealer getting my business if they won't let me even test drive the car before buying it?), I looked at the BMWs and...well I liked the handling, but didn't really like the comfort level or interior of the cars.

Then I got to try a few E350s out. I got to admit even the 2008's were nice and comfortable, but felt like a boat (great for long commutes tho). Then the sales guy tells me we got an E63 with a pano roof on it and asks if I want to try it out. Sure why not I say. Needless to say we found a nice long stretch of road where I decided to gun it just to see just how responsive the engine was. I think Jeremy Clarkson said it best..."This thing has a NUKE IN IT!" After that I have say that car spoiled me. I was never gonna be satisfied with a plain BMW or Audi or even a plain E series after that.

Unfortunately I did not buy that E63, but found a silver one in Texas at nearly 15k cheaper and only about 20k miles on it. Long story short I gotta agree with you on the nightmare and dream part as well. Its a dream to have it...its a nightmare when I think of all the things its going to get me into trouble doing!

PS: I suspect I will be in more trouble when the TT E63 comes out too

 

Sick post bro. Love it.

 

Great read. I too bought black, but then again.... I always buy black.

 

I'm in total agreement with all of you, I fell in love with my E63 after the first test drive. I hit the gas pedal so hard, my eyes rolled in the back of my head. And I knew then, this is the car for me. woo hoo

 

Thought I was the only one...!

 

Nice write up, but where are the pics ?

 

She is too dirty to photograph...lol.
Nice write up!

 

Awesome write up. Only change I'd make is to substitute Silver, yeah I'll admit being a little biased.

If you are not already in the field, consider a career as a journalist; you would do very well.

 

Thank you. I almost lost it due to some family member issues, but ended up being able to leverage some other things to raise the money they needed. So I appreciate the car even more now.

 

sheesh you think your e63 is fast......drive an E55!!!


joking great write up

 

I will dig a couple up. Nothing flashy like lots of the cars on here, but it is still my baby.

 

HAHAHAHA!! True. It is tough getting the pictures taken during the 2 seconds that it stays clean.

 

Thank you.

Oh...I know the E55 is fast. No argument here. If I had it my way I would have both.

 

Thank you. I am not a journalist (outside sales instead), but I do seem to get compliments on my writing. I appreciate it.

 

For those that wanted pictures...here is my buddy:





Most importantly...Daddy's little girl with the E63 at the Indy 500 Carb Day:

 

i miss my car sooooooooooooooo bad after reading this thread , Damn u Meeyatch1 !

your gonna make me either commit suicide "lol never " or drop the hammer and go for the new jammy !!!!!!!!!

 

love the plate and car

 

LOL!! Then consider the hammer dropped.

Thank you. I appreciate it. The license plate seemed to describe the car, since all of my friends just called it 'sinister' from Day 1 anyway.

 

Great read! Alot like how I feel about my car (except the black paint). Flint gray hardly seems as dirty.

 

Great write up and the car looks very aggressive. Ive always had a thing for the W211 E63.

I do agree that black is a pain to keep clean but it is the most aggressive looking colors on an AMG!

 

Enjoyed the story immensely. I had an 07E63 BLACK and now 09E63 Iridium Silver. Definitely miss the black but work just as hard keeping the silver pristine. I'm looking for some go faster mods now as the car just needs it. The Weistec Supercharger is calling.....

 

We need to hook up in Indy soon. I was up for the 500 - what a race.

Stay in touch.