LittleB

Typical F-150 Owner: a Tale of 85 MPH Freeway Speeds, Fast Buicks, and Flying Cake

So there I was, on my way to school. I was just about to get on the 210 west (in California). On the onramp is one of those stoplights that let one person through at a time right? But it's two lanes, so two can go. So I was waiting for the greenlight, and this huge F-150 pulls next to me. Lifted, boggers, all the dumb ****. So I'm thinking, seeing as how that's an F-150 owner, I bet he's gonna try and pass me. Even though I had right of way (he had to merge into my lane). Sure enough, light turns green, and he chirps it. I ofcourse have too much horsepower, seeing as how I was driving a Buick Park Avenue Ultra. Not that much, but much better then an F-150. So I kept it slow till about 10 miles per hour, because if I floor it it skids too much. Then, after 10, I gun it. And I passsss him. Like 5 car lengths. So I laugh at my rearview mirror "Hahahah, F-150 owner, I pwned yooz!!1!"

So then I set my blinker, and go change lanes, one by one. Then, when I'm about to go into the fast lane, I check my mirror, nobody there, check my blind spot, also nobody. So I pull into the fast lane, and suddenly I hear ZOOOONNNNK (his horn). Apparently he had tried to catch up, and was trying to pass me in the fast lane, even though I had my blinker out, and he came out of nowhere.

Well, I guess he *thought* I had cut him off (remember, please, the Typical F-150 Owner isn't the intelligent sort), and tailgated me for about 5 minutes. Then, when there was room, he pulled to the right of me. I guess he wanted to flip me off or something, but I wouldn't know, because I ignored him. He was just an F-150 owner, after all. So then he pulls forward, so he's like at my 1-2 o'clock. He waves and waves, trying to get me to pull forward. Suddenly, his arm disappears.

What happens then? You won't believe it. A piece of cake comes flying out of his window. Yes, you read correct, cake. So it bounces off of my hood, windshield, and proceeds to cause a seven car pile-up behind me. Cake !


So then the Typical F-150 Owner drives around me, cuts me off, tailgates me, all the good ****. Eventually, I just think "Feel my r0><0rs Buick powrz0z, noob!!!", and shoot off into the distance.

And ofcourse, he comes up again, and proceeds to try and annoy me. Why, I don't know. Eventually I got sick of him, and shot off so far, he couldn't catch up in his slow-*** F-150.

Typical F-150 Owner. Yeesh.

The moral of the story? If you own an F-150, and want to scare other motorists, don't throw cake at them. Bakeware isn't as scary as you think.

Steve Clark

You haven't seen my ex-wife's baking.

Machsurfer

I represent that remark

deuce zer0

I have a ford f-150 too. I dont drive it much, or really even like ford but i do own one. How did you find out it caused a seven car accident?

Sam 325i

hahahha bakeware . . . . . . ..



it's not just the f-150's - al the big trucks thiink they own teh road because the small cars let them do so.

we need to put a stop to that right now...from now on, no more letting big trucks walk all over you.

Mr. Xristo

we have those a$$'s in Florida too...

Makes me wish I drove a cement truck.. I have always had this thought of slamming on my brakes when I find I am being tailgated by some asshat driving what he thinks is a race car.

Vomit

Should've taken down his license plate number and called it in to the cops. He and his insurance company would've been on the hook for all the vehicle damage and probable injuries resulting from his stunt. Morons like that usually carry a minimal liability policy, which quickly would have been exhausted by 7 cars worth of collision damage and personal injuries. The rest would come out of the moron's bank account.

Actually, you should still call it in. Maybe with the vehicle description they can track it down (you may want to omit the part about your race with him!)

deuce zer0

how many f-150's do you think are sold around him? I think it would be a one in a million chance to try and find them now.

MBE55AMG

I think F-150 owners got their vehicles confused. They think they own an F-50 Ferrari, when they're sitting in their F-150 Ford's.

redlands40

i had the same couple of weeks ago, wanted to race me."please"i left him like he was tied to tree

E420SportGT

I don't think it's fair to say all F-150 owners are like that...one could say all Mercedes owners are arrogant sons of biatches as well then (I drive one). Sure, the guy was an a$$...but what does driving a F-150 have to do with all this other than the fact that he drove one?

In any case..your Buick owned that day.

DslBnz

It seems all Mercedes drivers are in the inside lanes cruising at 55 - 60 mph.

I know what you people mean about these trucks with dangerous drivers. I now see an SUV on the road, and I expect him to drive it like most people drive Bimmers do. Fast, quick, agresssive, with no regard for safety or the law.

Two months ago(?) a Chevy Tahoe went by my 420 at about 100 mph(I was doing 75 on the inside). About 15 - 20 seconds later (WHOOOOOOOSH!), a Trooper blew by me in pursuit of the SUV. He got 'em too.

Heh, he. Justice was served.

So they DO get bagged. But they still never learn.

BoSoxFan

Something similar happened to me many years ago. I was driving a Porsche 911 heading towards a friend's house outside Boston. I pulled up to a stop light on a 4 lane road (2 in each direction) and a big cadillac pulled up next to me. I knew that the road dropped down to one in each direction a few hundred yards after the light so, rather than being stuck being a caddy doing 20 mph on what I knew was a hilly, curvy road, when the light changed, I gave the 911 about 2/3 - 3/4 throttle to get in front of him before the lanes dropped down to one. We came off the line and, surprisingly, he stayed next to me so I dropped into 2nd and floored it leaving him way behind me. Knowing the road and knowing how it was patrolled, I levelled off at 45-50 mph when I got to the single lane section. A few minutes later he came roaring past me, passing on a double solid line. A few seconds later, an unmarked car with lights all flashing also came by. A mile or so down the road, the caddy is pulled over, the unmarked car is on the side of the road, and the cop waves me over. So, I said "what did I do?" and he said "you didn't break any laws so I can't charge you" but he continued that he thought that I was going to go like hell and he was really surprised that I slowed down. However, he said that I should have "known better" than to engage the caddy. He said that the cadillac was fishtailing so bad that he thought that he was going to go off the road. He observed that my Porsche was rock solid but I should have known that the Cadillac could not handle those conditions and I should have been "more responsible." At any rate, I got a scolding and verbal warning and the other guy got cited for reckless driving, speeding, and illegal passing. Isn't it wonderful when a cop is there when you need him!

Petie

i also have a lifted F-150, 2004 Supercrew Lariat 5.4L Triton. i can read, write, and i have all my teeth. and as hard as it may be to come to grips with, its still faster than your 190e.

Vader13

Here in OC, truck guys pull up real close and try to **** with you, then you race em and smoke the crap outta them.
check this OC truck video..
OC truck Mayhem

LittleB

Who's 190E?

Petie

most anyones, specifically the one you talked about in another thread i remember reading.

LittleB

Yeah but in this thread I was talking about my Buick.

DeeGuy

hahahaa, that is funny and annoying actually, a cake? that guy probably stupid or what? well, I had worse. I had someone throwing an empty bottle out of his window. the guy was driving a mustang. I guess, he was pissed cause I smoked him with my mini cooper S. I did not even cut him. I was accelerating in my own lane. i let him go after I smoked him and then he threw a bottle from his window, luckily, I was able to dodge it and only hit my bumper. I was going to catch him and get his nameplate, but I have to exit. Well, I guess some people are crazy, too sensitive, and sick these days. Those guys could not accept the reality and should seek psychiatrists.

00ML430 Bulldog

Dude.. he threw cake at you..... s-h-i-t that some demented sick stuff. Damm I almost fell ot my chair laughing... Dude he thew some cake at you.

tuscanraider

I've thrown things before, never a cake per se, but I did hurl a blueberry tart at a vehicle once; its all I had at the time I was picking up desserts for a friend of mine.

In any event, eggs and rotten vegetables are usually the best.

00ML430 Bulldog

It must have been some pound cake.... because it caused a seven car pile up. Thats not cool....