Ferrari 308 vs Suicide Corvette
The first house I owned was in a town home community. You know..... one of those places that everyone knew what everyone else was doing. I hated it!! And I only had a two car garage! I think I had a 308 and a Lotus Esprit inside, and a Range Rover and Porsche 928S4 outside in the driveway. Aside from the constant letters from the HOA, and the nosey neighbors peering in the windows, there was one particular knuckle head that drove a Vette, that had 'issues'. Not the car...... but the owner.
Mr. Vette would drive past my garage very slowly, whenever he saw the door open and I was working. Stupidly, I thought he was an enthusiast and I would say hi, wave, nod, and generally try to start a conversation. All of which was fruitless, as when he would see that I noticed him, he would accelerate away..... always scowling and never saying anything.
One particular Saturday afternoon, I was detailing the 308 in the driveway, chatting with a buddy who stopped by. When all of a sudden I hear the blat, blat of the Chevy V8 starting up on the other side of the neighborhood. I knew it was Vette guy. I told my buddy about his pattern, fully expecting him to stay in character.... and he wasn't going to disappoint!
Sure enough here comes that big V8 rumbling around the corner, at an even slower snails pace than normal. Instead of his usual drive by encounter, this time he stops in front of my driveway and stares at me, my friend and the Ferrari.
It wasn't a very comfortable stare. In fact, it was a little creepy. Deciding to try and break the ice, I said hi and complimented him on his car. Did he return the compliment? Did he even crack a smile? Nope. He had obviously been drinking.... perhaps to get the courage up for a social encounter. Instead, he slurs out the following, as he watches me wash the car..... "Why don't you keep on watering that thing..... and maybe one day it will grow up to be a Vette". He had obviously been playing and replaying this scene in his mind before actually pulling it off. Thoroughly proud of his remarks, he revs the V8 with deafening fury...... and launches the car in a cloud of smoke. However, in all his giddiness he forgot to calculate for the median, half a block from my house!! The wild, alcohol induced fishtail sideswipes the Vette and buckles the driver's rear suspension when he crashes into the center divider.
As we start over to the guy to see if we could help, he manages to get it in gear and limp it out of the neighborhood. We hear him drive around the block back to his house, dragging the wheel the whole way, and shut the thing off. It was pretty tough not to laugh....... so we did!
Needless to say, he never drove past the house again....... and I never bought another house with an HOA, or with less than an acre and lots more garage space!
I can emphatically state that a Ferrari 308 can 'humiliate' a Vette without even starting the engine!
Last edited by IngenereAMG; Aug 31, 2010 at 11:28 PM.
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