S-Class (W221) 2007-2013: S 320 CDI, S 350, S 450, S 500, S 550, S 420 CDI, S 600

Best/Rcommended Tire Brand

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Old 10-21-2015, 11:20 AM
  #76  
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Originally Posted by Canali
Hello folks...new here. I have an ML 350 4-Matic and had a set of low profile Conti's on the 20" rims. The tires looked beautiful and while you could feel more bumps in the road, the "harder" ride I received also handled beautifully.

FFW - I go to get a replacement set. The Manager tells me he has some Pirelli's, great tires, will look , ride and perform like the Conti's I had.

The moment I drive off, the 350 feels like Im riding on a boat. It feels like it sways more and there is a lot more play in the wheel than before. On top of that, the tire/wheel no longer looks as sexy and now looks more like a regular, fuller bodied grandma tire.

The tire sizes are the same...but until this happened, I never even researched tired. Could it be the speed rating? What did I miss when asking for a new set of Low Pro's exactly like the ones I had??
You missed nothing. The manager is a d-bag. There's no such thing as a low profile tire. Anything with a sidewall ratio under 50 could be considered "low pro" but still be the wrong tire for the car. The tire's sidewall height is a ratio of the tread width. I'm guessing he sold you a set of 20's that had the correct tread width but a higher sidewall ratio than the Conti's. What is the size of the replacement tire? It'll be on the sidewall. (255/45/20 etc)

Last edited by Mike5215; 10-21-2015 at 11:24 AM.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by triniexr
I'm not sure why you are defending Cooper Tires so much. They aren't a good tire. I'd never use Cooper. I consider them low - mid grade. I bought an S class because I could afford to maintain it with parts that will last me a long time. Not a temporary solution that will need replacing in a few months to a year.

Its like BMW vs Mercedes... They both do the same job but how long will the BMW last???

Please bring back the topic to help the OP.
More to the point, and as far as the OP is concerned, regardless of the merits of the Cooper Zeon tire, they don't make one for the S Class.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Canali
Hello folks...new here. I have an ML 350 4-Matic and had a set of low profile Conti's on the 20" rims. The tires looked beautiful and while you could feel more bumps in the road, the "harder" ride I received also handled beautifully.

FFW - I go to get a replacement set. The Manager tells me he has some Pirelli's, great tires, will look , ride and perform like the Conti's I had.

The moment I drive off, the 350 feels like Im riding on a boat. It feels like it sways more and there is a lot more play in the wheel than before. On top of that, the tire/wheel no longer looks as sexy and now looks more like a regular, fuller bodied grandma tire.

The tire sizes are the same...but until this happened, I never even researched tires. Could it be the speed rating? What did I miss when asking for a new set of Low Pro's exactly like the ones I had??

PS - the manager says he will order the same tire I had before, but I don't think he went to look before they were sent to recycle yard.

Not all tires are created equal. Many tire dealers will try to peddle what they have in stock. It's always best to go into a tire purchase armed with as much info as possible. The tires you choose should depend on how the vehicle is going to be driven, climate you live in, and how long you need them to last. Please provide the exact model of tires and sizes you are using.


Also, the guys in the ML forum might be able to provide better advice on truck tires and how they perform on the ML.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by DaveW68
Get a life kid. Or perhaps trolling forums, picking fights, and contributing NOTHING is your life. You seem like the kind of person who is unemployed, lives in his parent's dark basement, and picks fights on the internet (because he hasn't got the ***** to do it in person....Likely because you were picked on a lot as a young child), and gets some sort of gratification out if it. I hope that this is bringing a lot of joy to your pathetic life.
LOL...you've pretty much hit for the cycle for all the insults and white flag waves for a person that loses an argument on an internet forum. Let's list (just some of) them:

-- "troll"
-- "12 year old"
-- "she"
-- "lives in parents dark basement"
-- "unemployed"
-- "hasn't got the ***** to do it in person"
-- "I don't have time for you anymore"

Etc...

I wasn't picking a fight with anyone, but rather simply (and successfully) defending the honor of a fine American manufacturer against your baseless and misguided slurs and you're mad about it -- too bad for you.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by NaslundStarmine
LOL...you've pretty much hit for the cycle for all the insults and white flag waves for a person that loses an argument on an internet forum. Let's list (just some of) them:

-- "troll"
-- "12 year old"
-- "she"
-- "lives in parents dark basement"
-- "unemployed"
-- "hasn't got the ***** to do it in person"
-- "I don't have time for you anymore"

Etc...

I wasn't picking a fight with anyone, but rather simply (and successfully) defending the honor of a fine American manufacturer against your baseless and misguided slurs and you're mad about it -- too bad for you.

OK....you win. I hope that statement is enough in your mind to motivate you to get the f--- out of here and troll on another forum. I doubt that other forum members here are amused by your behavior or are impressed by your dedication to Cooper tires.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by DaveW68
OK....you win. I hope that statement is enough in your mind to motivate you to get the f--- out of here and troll on another forum. I doubt that other forum members here are amused by your behavior or are impressed by your dedication to Cooper tires.
You're angry one aren't you? You act like I invaded your home or something...is this where you hang out all day every day?

I don't have any particular "dedication" to Cooper tires but I do believe in fairness and honesty.

Care to help me with a cover recommendation?

How about the clear bra products, any thoughts there?
Old 10-21-2015, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike5215
You missed nothing. The manager is a d-bag. There's no such thing as a low profile tire. Anything with a sidewall ratio under 50 could be considered "low pro" but still be the wrong tire for the car. The tire's sidewall height is a ratio of the tread width. I'm guessing he sold you a set of 20's that had the correct tread width but a higher sidewall ratio than the Conti's. What is the size of the replacement tire? It'll be on the sidewall. (255/45/20 etc)

Hey, thanks for the answer. You've helped lalready.

I will check out the ML threads and see what they say as well - hat tip to DaveW68

To answer your question, the tire is 265 / 45 / R20..Same size I had on the Conti's. As for the tire being considered a "Low Profile" you explained that well enough..so I guess this comes down to the Pirelli just not looking good on my ML??

Also is it possible they over / under inflated my tire? Obviously I can check this myself, but after a new install its not the first thing I'd think of, considering the psi's are listed right there, and well, these guys are "Pro's"..right? I swear I can feel a very different ride..could it just be the new tire? The manager said it was just because Pirelli is a softer rubber....riiight?


Anyhow this has been a learning experience to say the least.
Old 10-21-2015, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Canali
Hey, thanks for the answer. You've helped lalready.

I will check out the ML threads and see what they say as well - hat tip to DaveW68

To answer your question, the tire is 265 / 45 / R20..Same size I had on the Conti's. As for the tire being considered a "Low Profile" you explained that well enough..so I guess this comes down to the Pirelli just not looking good on my ML??

Also is it possible they over / under inflated my tire? Obviously I can check this myself, but after a new install its not the first thing I'd think of, considering the psi's are listed right there, and well, these guys are "Pro's"..right? I swear I can feel a very different ride..could it just be the new tire? The manager said it was just because Pirelli is a softer rubber....riiight?


Anyhow this has been a learning experience to say the least.
Some tires do have a more square shoulder (where the tread block meets the sidewall) and that can make the sidewall appear taller although the size is identical. The right size and PSI are on a sticker in the drivers door jamb.
Old 10-21-2015, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by NaslundStarmine
You're angry one aren't you? You act like I invaded your home or something...is this where you hang out all day every day?

That's pretty funny...considering who it's coming from. Pot, meet kettle.

I don't have any particular "dedication" to Cooper tires but I do believe in fairness and honesty.

Do you really expect anybody to believe that statement? You've tried to defend Cooper tires like you have a majority share ownership in the company. Fairness and honesty are definitely not your forte.

Care to help me with a cover recommendation?

How about the clear bra products, any thoughts there?

If I actually believed that you were sincere in trying to obtain my thoughts and recommendations on either of those, I'd be more than happy to help. But I have a feeling that you're trying to bait me into another ridiculous argument. No thanks


To the OP....I sincerely apologize that I've engaged in a ridiculous argument with this person and let the thread become completely derailed. There are lots of good quality tires that work well on our cars...such as Continentals, Bridgestone, Michelins, Yokohama's, Hankook's, and a few others. Going with a staggered set-up will limit your choices. I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty. They are quiet tires and handle great on dry and wet roads. They also prove how well the ABC suspension can perform, as opposed to the OEM 18" wheels shod with Michelin Primacy HP summer tires, which felt wallowy around turns, but absorbed every bump in the road like it wasn't even there. It really depend on what kind of balance or ride/performance/comfort you're trying to achieve. In any case, if you drive your car in the winter in a snowy climate, I highly recommend a dedicated set of snow tires.

Last edited by DaveW68; 10-21-2015 at 01:45 PM.
Old 10-21-2015, 01:56 PM
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"Do you really expect anybody to believe that statement?"

Yes.

"You've tried to defend Cooper tires like you have a majority share ownership in the company."

Nonsense. I simply defended them with the exact amount of effort needed to overcome your perplexing hate for, and unsubstantiated falsehoods about, a fine American brand.

"Fairness and honesty are definitely not your forte."

I disagree.

"If I actually believed that you were sincere in trying to obtain my thoughts and recommendations on either of those, I'd be more than happy to help."

I'm serious. No baiting, I promise.

"To the OP....I sincerely apologize that I've engaged in a ridiculous argument with this person and let the thread become completely derailed."

You said you were done about 5 days and 3 pages ago, lack of discipline?

"I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty."

Mike, out of curiosity, are Hankook's on the "Benz worthy" approved list?

Last edited by NaslundStarmine; 10-21-2015 at 02:01 PM.
Old 10-21-2015, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by NaslundStarmine
"Do you really expect anybody to believe that statement?"

Yes.

"You've tried to defend Cooper tires like you have a majority share ownership in the company."

Nonsense. I simply defended them with the exact amount of effort needed to overcome your perplexing hate for, and unsubstantiated falsehoods about, a fine American brand.

"Fairness and honesty are definitely not your forte."

I disagree.

"If I actually believed that you were sincere in trying to obtain my thoughts and recommendations on either of those, I'd be more than happy to help."

I'm serious. No baiting, I promise.

"To the OP....I sincerely apologize that I've engaged in a ridiculous argument with this person and let the thread become completely derailed."

You said you were done about 5 days and 3 pages ago, lack of discipline?

"I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty."

Mike, out of curiosity, are Hankook's on the "Benz worthy" approved list?

You questioned my motives, honesty, and integrity. After all of this, I believe that the other forum members who read through this thread and how it derailed can make their own judgments regarding honesty, integrity, and discipline for both you and I.


FYI, Mike is a well informed member of this forum, but is not a tire expert by any means. I'm sure he'll be the first one to tell you that. And I'm sure that he'll also tell you that although he doesn't have any first hand experience with Hankooks Ventus tires, they are an approved tire for the W221 S class.
Old 10-21-2015, 05:40 PM
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Originally Posted by NaslundStarmine
"Do you really expect anybody to believe that statement?"

Yes.

"You've tried to defend Cooper tires like you have a majority share ownership in the company."

Nonsense. I simply defended them with the exact amount of effort needed to overcome your perplexing hate for, and unsubstantiated falsehoods about, a fine American brand.

"Fairness and honesty are definitely not your forte."

I disagree.

"If I actually believed that you were sincere in trying to obtain my thoughts and recommendations on either of those, I'd be more than happy to help."

I'm serious. No baiting, I promise.

"To the OP....I sincerely apologize that I've engaged in a ridiculous argument with this person and let the thread become completely derailed."

You said you were done about 5 days and 3 pages ago, lack of discipline?

"I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty."

Mike, out of curiosity, are Hankook's on the "Benz worthy" approved list?
I try not to put an opinion forth about equipment (tires, wheels, audio gear) unless I have actual hands-on experience. I've never run the Hankooks, but Dave has had them for awhile. He drives a 600, and those put down so much torque to the rears at launch that a substandard tire would have been eaten up by now. I have no doubt if they were crap he'd already have been warning members off of them. Dave's an a-hole but I don't doubt his integrity.

As far as OE, since the OP was looking for a recommendation, the safest bet would naturally be OE if price was not a consideration. He certainly could venture out into the 2nd or even 3rd tier vendors, and I've had experiences with some of those that I felt were unsatisfactory either from a performance or premature wear standpoint.

Basically to endorse the Coopers for an S Class you'd really need to run a set and see how they fare. I can't even find a Cooper tire to spec for an S, and that's not an experiment I would want to undertake, but you certainly have a lot of confidence in them.

You need to put a set on your 221 run them and report back at 3 month intervals or so. Then I don't think anyone here (even Dave) would take issue with you recommending them if you ran them.

Last edited by Mike5215; 10-21-2015 at 05:49 PM.
Old 10-21-2015, 10:57 PM
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"Basically to endorse the Coopers for an S Class you'd really need to run a set and see how they fare. I can't even find a Cooper tire to spec for an S, and that's not an experiment I would want to undertake, but you certainly have a lot of confidence in them.

You need to put a set on your 221 run them and report back at 3 month intervals or so. Then I don't think anyone here (even Dave) would take issue with you recommending them if you ran them."

Fair points. In fact the only car I've had a set on is a Lexus LS 430.

"I try not to put an opinion forth about equipment (tires, wheels, audio gear) unless I have actual hands-on experience."

Now on this seems like you are a bit conflicted. Cooper does make a wide range of Zeon's with an XL rating (here: http://us.coopertire.com/Tires/Perfo...EON-RS3-A.aspx) you certainly were willing to deem Cooper as "not Benz worthy" without any "hands on experience" Not trying to pick a fight with you, just trying to figure out where the lines are drawn.

Dave characterized the Hankook's as such: "I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty."

That certainly sounds like the description of a "budget" tire! (which seemed to be a key tenet in worthiness and value -- "you get what you pay for in tires")

"Then I don't think anyone here (even Dave) would take issue with you recommending them if you ran them."

Actually I think Dave would have a h-u-g-e problem with that....he hates Cooper with a passion hitherto unknown to the people in this area,
but destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...oh woe is me...

Last edited by NaslundStarmine; 10-21-2015 at 11:32 PM.
Old 10-21-2015, 11:05 PM
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'You questioned my motives, honesty, and integrity."

No I didn't, I simply made an observation on what they clearly are (or aren't in this case).

"After all of this, I believe that the other forum members who read through this thread and how it derailed can make their own judgments regarding honesty, integrity, and discipline for both you and I."

You bet they can! "Hi, I'm Dave. My wife had a ****ty set of Cooper's back in 2009 so all their tires suck now and in perpetuity...trust me." LOL...

"FYI, Mike is a well informed member of this forum, but is not a tire expert by any means."

Based on his comments in this thread (https://mbworld.org/forums/s-class-w...221-owner.html) I'm going to take the other side of your trade.

"And I'm sure that he'll also tell you that although he doesn't have any first hand experience with Hankooks Ventus tires, they are an approved tire for the W221 S class."

Approved by whom?

Last edited by NaslundStarmine; 10-21-2015 at 11:08 PM.
Old 10-22-2015, 01:55 AM
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Give it a rest Naslund. I'm pretty certain that any informed W221 owners won't be putting Cooper tires on their car, especially after reading through this thread. Haven't you noticed yet that NOBODY agrees with you on the merits of Cooper tires on an S-class? I haven't seen anybody here comment on liking Coopers on any car. You're a pretty crappy salesman of their tires as you haven't been able to sell anybody on the merits of Coopers. All you want to do is argue. I'm sure there's a brick wall somewhere that will lend you an ear to your argument.


Why are you here any way? Don't you drive an old LS430? Your Coopers might work well for you on your old $4-12k car, but they're not fit for an S-class that is much bigger and weighs up to 1100 lbs more than your old Lexus (depending on the model S-class). My Hankooks are rated for my 5000 lb car. Your Coopers aren't. Case closed!


Your efforts might be better suited over on the Lexus boards where you might be able to sell the merits of putting some cheap Coopers on an old high mileage car that was handed down to some high school or college kid who doesn't know any better.


Give up pal. Nobody gives a sh*t about your opinions as you're obviously not here to contribute anything productive to this forum. You'd probably have a better time by going outside and playing hide and go f--- yourself.
Old 10-22-2015, 04:30 AM
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Hi W221 forum members, I'm coming here as a frequent member of the W204 forums. My mother's S class needs to get the rear tires replaced before the winter months and I wanted some opinions and advice regarding what the next step should be.

She currently has the OE spec contiprocontacts all around and is not staggered. I've done quite a bit of reading over the years regarding tire brands and I've decided that bridgestone, continental and michelin are the top three. On my car I'm using conti DW on the front and DWS on the rears. For my brother's 335i, I gave him michelin Pilot Super Sports all around. My brother and I have been very happy with the performance and reliability of our tires. I feel like my parents are getting duped by buying into the whole "OEM knows best" idea, and paying out the whazoo for worse performing rubber. I don't believe that Mercedes would engineer the vehicle around the tires on it, although, please correct me if I'm wrong.

It is my understanding that the conti DW and DWS have a comfortable ride and good grip, while the Michelin PSS and A/S3 have better steering response and great grip. I'm debating between these four tires, summer or all season. My parents prioritize comfort and noise, but I want them to have something better performing than their contiprocontacts, and preferably at a more affordable price. The OE contiprocontacts in the fronts still have good tread, so we'll keep those for now or rotate them. I'll probably pick the DW or DWS because they are more comfortable, and cheaper than the mich PSS, while maintaining competitive performance. Plus my parents would be happier since it would be the same brand as the OE contiprocontacts. Btw, we live in california and only deal with dry and wet. I'm not sure if I should consider treadlife rating, since the all season tires have a much better rating but will not perform as well in the dry and wet.

I have a few questions:

1. Would mixing and matching the front two tires with different rear tires have a considerable negative effect on handling and overall performance?

2. With the above question in mind, would there be any issues with rotating tires? Would it be best to put the fresh set on the front and the OE on the rear?

3. Would you recommend summer or all seasons for california when considering treadlife and value? The OE contiprocontacts are all seasons.

4. Of the options I had in mind, which one would be best?

Thanks!

Last edited by Rodpwnz; 10-22-2015 at 05:18 AM.
Old 10-22-2015, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by NaslundStarmine
"Basically to endorse the Coopers for an S Class you'd really need to run a set and see how they fare. I can't even find a Cooper tire to spec for an S, and that's not an experiment I would want to undertake, but you certainly have a lot of confidence in them.

You need to put a set on your 221 run them and report back at 3 month intervals or so. Then I don't think anyone here (even Dave) would take issue with you recommending them if you ran them."

Fair points. In fact the only car I've had a set on is a Lexus LS 430.

"I try not to put an opinion forth about equipment (tires, wheels, audio gear) unless I have actual hands-on experience."

Now on this seems like you are a bit conflicted. Cooper does make a wide range of Zeon's with an XL rating (here: http://us.coopertire.com/Tires/Perfo...EON-RS3-A.aspx) you certainly were willing to deem Cooper as "not Benz worthy" without any "hands on experience" Not trying to pick a fight with you, just trying to figure out where the lines are drawn.

Dave characterized the Hankook's as such: "I personally chose the Hankook Ventus S1 Noble2's as they perform pretty much identical to the Michelin Pilot AS3's for a lot less money....with a 60k mileage warranty."

That certainly sounds like the description of a "budget" tire! (which seemed to be a key tenet in worthiness and value -- "you get what you pay for in tires")

"Then I don't think anyone here (even Dave) would take issue with you recommending them if you ran them."

Actually I think Dave would have a h-u-g-e problem with that....he hates Cooper with a passion hitherto unknown to the people in this area,
but destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...oh woe is me...
Do you not own a 221 S Class?
Old 10-22-2015, 08:58 AM
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Mike.... I think its time for another x-ray lol.
Old 10-22-2015, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by triniexr
Mike.... I think its time for another x-ray lol.
Agreed. I guess I hadn't read the thread carefully enough (and who, without a lobotomy, really could) but when I suggested Nas run a set of his favorite tire on his S Class I wasn't being glib. I thought he drove an S Class..

It's like if there was a forum somewhere about feminine hygiene (and I guarantee there is) and a member asked for a recommendation on the best tampon. And I was like "CVS brand SuperSoaker Heavy Days Deluxe! Heck of a tampon and a great price!" I imagine the other members of the forum, who actually have vaginas, might find my endorsement puzzling.
Old 10-22-2015, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Rodpwnz
Hi W221 forum members, I'm coming here as a frequent member of the W204 forums. My mother's S class needs to get the rear tires replaced before the winter months and I wanted some opinions and advice regarding what the next step should be.

She currently has the OE spec contiprocontacts all around and is not staggered. I've done quite a bit of reading over the years regarding tire brands and I've decided that bridgestone, continental and michelin are the top three. On my car I'm using conti DW on the front and DWS on the rears. For my brother's 335i, I gave him michelin Pilot Super Sports all around. My brother and I have been very happy with the performance and reliability of our tires. I feel like my parents are getting duped by buying into the whole "OEM knows best" idea, and paying out the whazoo for worse performing rubber. I don't believe that Mercedes would engineer the vehicle around the tires on it, although, please correct me if I'm wrong.

It is my understanding that the conti DW and DWS have a comfortable ride and good grip, while the Michelin PSS and A/S3 have better steering response and great grip. I'm debating between these four tires, summer or all season. My parents prioritize comfort and noise, but I want them to have something better performing than their contiprocontacts, and preferably at a more affordable price. The OE contiprocontacts in the fronts still have good tread, so we'll keep those for now or rotate them. I'll probably pick the DW or DWS because they are more comfortable, and cheaper than the mich PSS, while maintaining competitive performance. Plus my parents would be happier since it would be the same brand as the OE contiprocontacts. Btw, we live in california and only deal with dry and wet. I'm not sure if I should consider treadlife rating, since the all season tires have a much better rating but will not perform as well in the dry and wet.

I have a few questions:

1. Would mixing and matching the front two tires with different rear tires have a considerable negative effect on handling and overall performance?

2. With the above question in mind, would there be any issues with rotating tires? Would it be best to put the fresh set on the front and the OE on the rear?

3. Would you recommend summer or all seasons for california when considering treadlife and value? The OE contiprocontacts are all seasons.

4. Of the options I had in mind, which one would be best?

Thanks!

Going with different models of tires between front and back is a very bad idea....especially if the car will be driven hard in any inclement weather. All 4 tires should match. I'd recommend matching new rears to what you currently have on the front, and wait to rotate them until the rear tread drops below what's on front, especially if your parents are already happy with the Contis. This will also end up saving you money as you'd only need to buy 2 tires instead of all 4. I assume that your climate receives very little to no snow, so I don't see a problem with running summer tires year round. Just keep in mind that if temps drop into the 40's, summer rubber becomes very hard and handling will be compromised. With all-seasons, you wont see that big drop off in handling until temps are in the low 20's.
Old 10-22-2015, 10:34 AM
  #96  
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Originally Posted by Mike5215
Agreed. I guess I hadn't read the thread carefully enough (and who, without a lobotomy, really could) but when I suggested Nas run a set of his favorite tire on his S Class I wasn't being glib. I thought he drove an S Class..

It's like if there was a forum somewhere about feminine hygiene (and I guarantee there is) and a member asked for a recommendation on the best tampon. And I was like "CVS brand SuperSoaker Heavy Days Deluxe! Heck of a tampon and a great price!" I imagine the other members of the forum, who actually have vaginas, might find my endorsement puzzling.

Even though your little man may have had a stroke, I'm glad the brain up top is still working well. Perhaps you should go back into stand-up. SuperSoaker tampons. Classic!!
Old 10-22-2015, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Mike5215
Agreed. I guess I hadn't read the thread carefully enough (and who, without a lobotomy, really could) but when I suggested Nas run a set of his favorite tire on his S Class I wasn't being glib. I thought he drove an S Class..

It's like if there was a forum somewhere about feminine hygiene (and I guarantee there is) and a member asked for a recommendation on the best tampon. And I was like "CVS brand SuperSoaker Heavy Days Deluxe! Heck of a tampon and a great price!" I imagine the other members of the forum, who actually have vaginas, might find my endorsement puzzling.
Old 10-22-2015, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by triniexr
Now Nas will say he doesn't have an S Class but he does have a big, heavy S Class clone. Which in my tampon analogy is like saying he doesn't have a vagina, but he does have severe **** leakage, and that's pretty much the same thing.

And yes, in this analogy the S Class is a warm, inviting vagina and the Lexus would be...well, you know.

Little known fact: "Lexus" in Japanese translates into "anus of wealth"- I'm not making this up.

Personally, luxury cars, tires and condoms are three products I won't cut corners on. In one case you may end up with an unwanted and troublesome burden that will plague you for the rest of your life, and in the other case an unexpected pregnancy.

Last edited by Mike5215; 10-22-2015 at 01:58 PM. Reason: I made up that part about "Lexus" translating to "Anus Of Wealth". The literal translation is "Dog Humper".
Old 10-22-2015, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike5215
Personally, luxury cars, tires and condoms are three products I won't cut corners on. In one case you may end up with an unwanted and troublesome burden that will plague you for the rest of your life, and in the other case an unexpected pregnancy.

I've heard that the Cooper Tire and Rubber company also makes condoms and has gotten into some trouble in the past by producing defective condoms. The odds of pregnancy actually increased by using their product. Always check your labels and know what you're buying.
Old 10-22-2015, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by DaveW68
I've heard that the Cooper Tire and Rubber company also makes condoms and has gotten into some trouble in the past by producing defective condoms. The odds of pregnancy actually increased by using their product. Always check your labels and know what you're buying.
I dunno. Twenty years ago I used a Cooper Zeon Ribbed Magnum Natural Feel Supreme and the thing shredded. I tried them because they were a heckuva lot cheaper than Trojans.

Now I have a twenty year old kid whose mom was a stripper. Ironically, her stage name was "Lexus", and I named the kid "Cooper".

Okay, I made up the "Magnum" part. Also the "Cooper" part. His actual name is "Zeon".

Last edited by Mike5215; 10-22-2015 at 01:59 PM. Reason: Forget to mention that the Cooper Zeon Ribbed Magnum Natural Feel Supreme has an Extra Load (XL) Rating.


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